Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Return of Baghdad Bob

By Kanrei

On April 8th, 2003 Baghdad Bob vanished. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Minister of Information under Saddam Hussein was a constant figure during the 43 day war to take Baghdad. He was actually the best part to come out of that war. Saturday Night Live could not have written a better character. Who can forget these classic and timeless lines:
"We butchered the force present at the airport. We have retaken the airport! There are no Americans there!"

"Whenever we attack, they retreat. When we pound them with missiles and heavy artillery, they retreat even deeper. But when we stopped pounding, they pushed to the airport for propaganda purposes."

"The Americans are not there. They're not in Baghdad. There are no troops there. Never. They're not at all."

"We have killed most of the [coalition] infidels, and I think we will finish off the rest soon."

But then he just vanished without a trace. We all knew he would re-emerge from the rubble of Baghdad, but where and when? MSNBC has unwittingly found him and I cannot believe where he has been hiding.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf AKA Baghdad Bob is, in reality none other than Nouri Kamel al-Maliki, Prime Minister of Iraq. I was shocked as well. Who would have thought an idiot who denies reality could rise to such a high position of authority…..Bush, right.

The proof is there for anyone who wants to look. Sure they look nothing alike and al-Maliki is obviously older than Bob, but they say the exact same types of ridiculous statements that make me wonder. There cannot be two people that in denial of reality….Bush, right.

Here is another classic from Baghdad Bob: "Nobody came here. Those America losers, I think their repeated frequent lies are bringing them down very rapidly.... Baghdad is secure, is safe." This was said as US troops were taking central Baghdad. You could almost see the tanks behind Bob as he spoke.

Now compare that to al-Maliki today in MSNBC: “The violence is not increasing. We’re not in a civil war. Iraq will never be in a civil war…The violence is in decrease and our security ability is increasing.”

This was said as eighteen people were killed Sunday in bombings around Iraq including “near the pedestrian entry point to the Palestine Hotel in downtown Baghdad, killing at least nine people and wounding 18”. MSNBC reports that over 10,000 Iraqis have been killed since al-Maliki took office in May in almost daily violence. The violence is Sunni Iraqis and Shiite Iraqis. That means it is Iraqi versus Iraqi. Is there some other definition I have not heard about for “civil war”?

Something happened that all of the world leaders seem to be suffering from Tabloiditis. This is a condition that states “perception is reality and repetition creates perception.” OF course, one must also add in a touch of “if you are going to lie, lie big” philosophy as well.

Truth is, I am happy Baghdad Bob is employed again. The man had such great comedic timing and a wonderful gift of irony that would be wasted if he was retired or killed. It shows Bush is a second chance kind of guy. Welcome back to the world of spin Bob, we missed you.

19 comments:

Rex Zeitgeist said...

They are not in Baghdad....No Americnas are in the city.....uh, ok gotta run!

At least bob was humorous, the taliban guy just pissed me off....Remember those daily briefings they would have saying the Taliban was 'crushing' the US military, all while the US and afghan forces were destroying the Al Queda and Taliban forces....

Rex Zeitgeist said...

And I am pretty sure he works for Al Jazeera as a talk show host....

Baghdad Bobs 'No Spin Zone'....ahahahahahaha

Rex Zeitgeist said...

Oh and Lisa.......isn't there a few posters on that 'other site' that beleive the US goverment led by Dick Cheney did 9/11?....


That is Bahgdad Bob style thinking....

Rex Zeitgeist said...

The Collected Quotations of "Baghdad Bob," Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf: The Iraqi Minister of DisInformation
Mocking the Coalition's Attempt To Target Saddam Hussein:
"These villains, and in particular the villain Bush, said they had struck Iraq with 40 cruise missiles to assassinate President Saddam Hussein. Not only are they disappointed, I think they are hysterical."

Attempting to Acknowledge What Was Happening Militarily Beyond Baghdad:
March 22, 2003
"Maybe they will enter Umm Qasr and Basra, but how will they enter Baghdad? It will be a big oven for them. They can penetrate our borders but they cannot reach Baghdad. They will try to pull our army and troops out but we are well aware of their plans and they will fail."

March 23, 2003
"In Umm Qasr, the fighting is fierce and we have inflicted many damages. The stupid enemy, the Americans and British, failed completely. They're not making any penetration."

As Televised Reports of U.S. Forces Approaching the Outskirts of Western Baghdad Are Shown:
"They are not any place. They are on the move everywhere. They are a snake moving in the desert. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion."

After U.S. Forces Seized Baghdad's Airport:
"We butchered the force present at the airport. We have retaken the airport! There are no Americans there!"

After U.S. Troops Penetrated Central Baghdad:
April 5, 2003
"Nobody came here. Those America losers, I think their repeated frequent lies are bringing them down very rapidly.... Baghdad is secure, is safe."

April 5, 2003
"They are not near Baghdad. Don't believe them.... They said they entered with... tanks in the middle of the capital. They claim that they - I tell you, I... that this speech is too far from the reality. It is a part of this sickness of their plan. There is no an... - no any existence to the American troops or for the troops in Baghdad at all."

Anonymous said...

you werent pwz material Kanrei?

Unknown said...

Dont understand the question nor know who is asking it?

RexZeitgeist said...

Is that a statement or a question?

Anonymous said...

This should be renamed "The home of people who can't deal with reality"

Corky and O'really would fit in well here. It won't be hard now the Queen "B" is already here.

Unknown said...

"The home of people who can't deal with reality"

I thought it was. A Wayward Lemming cannot handle reality.

RexZeitgeist said...

Hi Lisa!.....uh, no.....

RexZeitgeist said...

I mean yes......damn, why do women always phrase questions with a negative positive?

Unknown said...

My first troll....
If we catch it, I want to give it a nice cage and put it on the homepage for all to see. We can call it "George". Not after the President, but after the Bugs Bunny cartoon "I will hug him and squeeze him and call him 'Geroge'"

RexZeitgeist said...

Later Lisa...glad to see you haven't changed!....I think the troll should be named 'Cindy'

RexZeitgeist said...

BTW Lees Lees, make sure the kids aren't in the room when you visit my 'Pub'(we have 40 kinds of wine).....Say high to Ozark for me.....

RexZeitgeist said...

ahahaha....Classic, I am borrowing that image...ahahahah

Unknown said...

I have it on good authority that the President is not a troll. Trolls turn to stone in daylight and I have seen the President during daytime hours.

Unknown said...

I saw it and HAD to do it.

RexZeitgeist said...

Plus, he IS the President......OUR President.......In a couple of years, someone else is going to have to take the thankless crappy job........I wouldn't want it....

Unknown said...

I may not like the guy who has the job, but I respect the job enough to respect the man while he holds it.