I went to a Hanukkah dinner last night that just blew me away at how horrible one dinner can be and at how many things they can get wrong at a religious dinner. Am I being too harsh on the place or do you think these are legitimate grievances?
1. The candles on the Menorah went from left to right instead of being set up right to left.
2. The candles were lit from left to right.
3. The prayer said on the first night ONLY was also said in addition to the traditional prayer.
4. Served was Roast Beef disguised as Brisket, with a side of hash browns formed into circles, and green beans. Also, a mazoball soup made of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup.
5. I heard Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song as the only music played aside from some random disco, but Adam had the honor of being the only holiday related song played.
6. The food was served cold
7. No Yamakas.
8. No Coke, Pepsi
I know us Jews LOVE to complain and this dinner gave me an abundance of things to complain about, but come on! It was almost as if they typed the "What Jews Like" into Google and based the entire evening on that. I am shocked they didn't have dishes of pennies on each table as the Hors d'œuvre .
Actually, maybe the list of complaints was their gift to us Jews? They did get 8 things. Thank you (Place not Named for Fear of Litigation)!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Am I Being Too Critical?
Monday, December 07, 2009
Which is Which?
One is of Palin and Pelosi and the other is of those Theater Faces, but I lost which was which. Can you help?
No seriously, which is which?
There once was a woman named Palin
Who wanted to learn how to rhyme
She spent every moment studying
And invested every nickel
She worked all day and night long on her poem
A symbol of all she stood for
And her words flew from her mind down through her pen
And she wrote until she could write no other words
She was proud of her poem as she presented it
To the members of the fine GOP
"I hope this shows I am ready to serve
And you elect me to the Highest Office."
Friday, December 04, 2009
So Dishonest...It is Almost Stealing!
Those tele-fund raising bastards have crossed the line with me. Whomever is calling raising funds in Florida for the Fire Department really needs to get their shit straight! The rudeness is one thing, but this is something else!
They called and asked me for money.
"I'm so sorry, but I really cannot afford to donate this year."
"Well," they said, "some people are giving less than normal."
"I understand, but I am broke. I can barely afford my bills right now. I would love to help, but I can't at all."
"Well, how about $20?"
"I have no money. I wish I could."
"How about $15?"
"What part of 'I have no money are you missing?'"
"$10?"
"Now you are not even listening to me. This call is over. Have a good day" and I hung up thinking it was over.
Today, in my mailbox was a letter from the Fire Department thanking me for my $35 donation and asking for their check ASAP. WHAT? This better not reflect on my credit report because I am in no way, shape, or form paying it nor am I ever giving to any of these tele-fundraisers again. PBL, PAL, ENT, FHP, etc....you have just lost a consistent and loyal donor.
Tis the Season my ass!
Monday, November 23, 2009
When Things Just Line Up
The last concert I went to was Phish at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Fl. This concert was on December 29, 2003. I had tickets for December 30, but gave them away. I went to the show alone. I also left the concert early, felt really alone and depressed, and withdrew from society for the next six years.
Around my birthday, 2009, I decided that it was probably time to think about ending my self-imposed exile from society and think about trying to get friends and maybe even, dare I say, a girlfriend. A sign would be nice however that this is, in fact, the right course of action.
My next concert I go to will be Phish at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Fl. This concert will be on December 30, 2009. I have tickets for December 31. I am taking my only local friend with me and will be meeting up with my Tampa friends, some of whom I have not seen since our 1995 Dead tour.
I got my sign.
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Friday "Bad Pun" Movie Review
Today's entry: Twilight: New Moon. Verdict: it sucks. Thank you. Have a great weekend.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Happy Paraskevidekatriaphobia's Worst Day
Yesterday was Thursday, the 12th. I went to the Quick Stop (yes, it really is called Quick Stop, but there is no video store next to it) and purchased $10 worth of goods, including a single $1 scratch off ticket. I won $4. I turned it into 4 more tickets and won $10. Rather than press my luck, I took my free items and left happy.
Today is Friday, the 13th. I woke up to the lovely sounds of my cats fighting under my bed. A check engine light on my car that I already paid to have fixed on Monday returned. I went to the bank to find that I was $2.97 short, which added $64 in overdraft fees (it was $2.63 over and then some .34 cent bank charge) and I was officially $70 in the hole! The car place said they would have to charge me $91 to see what is wrong with my car and only if it was the same problem would they wave it.
YAY FRIDAY THE 13TH you devious bastard you! The betablockers my doctor put me on are working however, because I am almost Budda calm at the moment despite my string of set backs. I was able to get the $91 waved after all and the check engine light was something that went loose. The bank will forgive me these fees one last time (I have a history) so long as I open a savings or money market to act as overdraft protection. Done!
I think/hope/pray/beg/plead/bribe/sacrifice my kitties that my string is over. They go in threes, right?
Happy Friday and, if you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia (fear of Friday the 13th), stay under the bed today.
