Thursday, April 29, 2010

Today in Arizona

A recent plan by the state of Arizona to use dragons to guard the border has hit an unforeseen snag. While the plan enacted last week and signed by the Governor clearly states that the large mythical reptiles must be used to secure the border from illegal aliens, it never clarifies the type of dragon to be used and this discrepancy has opened a bidding war all over the world.

The state of Arizona had originally planned on using a few dragons on loan from Disneyland in nearby California, but recent budget problems in both states caused Arizona to open the bidding the the world.

China was the first to enter a bid. The Asian country, with its long history of dragons as well as their advanced production and cheap labor certainly placed them in the lead, but many members of the Tea Party questioned the use of Chinese dragons and sought instead to use British dragons. Parental Advisory groups also questioned the use of Chinese dragons due mainly to the amount of lead found in them.

After having it pointed out to the Tea Party that 99% of the British dragons were killed during the Middle Ages, the thought of Spanish dragons from Madrid did come up and was quickly ruled out due to fear of them siding with their Hispanic brothers.

While it was reported earlier today that an offer from Komodo was being considered, Senator McCain told Lemming News just a few minutes ago that it was impracticable to use them due to the language barrier: they don't seem to have one.

Until the state is able to satisfy both this strange new law and the various warring bigots within their borders, they must continue with the current plan of using Giant Sand Worms from the planet Dune to patrol the vast desert.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I Just Don't Know Anymore...

I just don't know what to do. I am not being understood by anyone with anything I say and it is getting worse. Either I am stupid or the world is, but there is a gap between what I say and what others hear. When they say they don't follow me, I try explaining it another way only to be accused of repeating myself. And it is not limited just to verbal communication; my written words are often misunderstood as well. I would continue ranting about it here, but I know it will not be understood so there is little point.