Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Happiest of New Years to All

I will be Phishing once again tonight, so let me wish everyone- both my Facebook friends and my friends who remain free, a very happy New Year. Make sure you make resolutions you can keep- no point in setting yourself up for failure after all. My resolution is to remain on the path I am currently on and do my best to see it through to the end no matter what that may be. Basically, I resolve to change as little as possible; a feat I KNOW I can do.

Have fun tonight kids and Lemmings alike.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

To All My Friends Not on Facebook Yet....

I admire your resolve and am jealous of your strength. Stay strong and remain free as long as you can!


Monday, December 14, 2009

Am I Being Too Critical?

I went to a Hanukkah dinner last night that just blew me away at how horrible one dinner can be and at how many things they can get wrong at a religious dinner. Am I being too harsh on the place or do you think these are legitimate grievances?

1. The candles on the Menorah went from left to right instead of being set up right to left.

2. The candles were lit from left to right.

3. The prayer said on the first night ONLY was also said in addition to the traditional prayer.

4. Served was Roast Beef disguised as Brisket, with a side of hash browns formed into circles, and green beans. Also, a mazoball soup made of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup.

5. I heard Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song as the only music played aside from some random disco, but Adam had the honor of being the only holiday related song played.

6. The food was served cold

7. No Yamakas.

8. No Coke, Pepsi

I know us Jews LOVE to complain and this dinner gave me an abundance of things to complain about, but come on! It was almost as if they typed the "What Jews Like" into Google and based the entire evening on that. I am shocked they didn't have dishes of pennies on each table as the Hors d'Ĺ“uvre .

Actually, maybe the list of complaints was their gift to us Jews? They did get 8 things. Thank you (Place not Named for Fear of Litigation)!

Monday, December 07, 2009

Which is Which?

One is of Palin and Pelosi and the other is of those Theater Faces, but I lost which was which. Can you help?

No seriously, which is which?

There once was a woman named Palin
Who wanted to learn how to rhyme
She spent every moment studying
And invested every nickel

She worked all day and night long on her poem
A symbol of all she stood for
And her words flew from her mind down through her pen
And she wrote until she could write no other words

She was proud of her poem as she presented it
To the members of the fine GOP
"I hope this shows I am ready to serve
And you elect me to the Highest Office."

Friday, December 04, 2009

So Dishonest...It is Almost Stealing!

Those tele-fund raising bastards have crossed the line with me. Whomever is calling raising funds in Florida for the Fire Department really needs to get their shit straight! The rudeness is one thing, but this is something else!

They called and asked me for money.

"I'm so sorry, but I really cannot afford to donate this year."

"Well," they said, "some people are giving less than normal."

"I understand, but I am broke. I can barely afford my bills right now. I would love to help, but I can't at all."

"Well, how about $20?"

"I have no money. I wish I could."

"How about $15?"

"What part of 'I have no money are you missing?'"


"Now you are not even listening to me. This call is over. Have a good day" and I hung up thinking it was over.

Today, in my mailbox was a letter from the Fire Department thanking me for my $35 donation and asking for their check ASAP. WHAT? This better not reflect on my credit report because I am in no way, shape, or form paying it nor am I ever giving to any of these tele-fundraisers again. PBL, PAL, ENT, FHP, have just lost a consistent and loyal donor.

Tis the Season my ass!