Friday, May 30, 2008


Well, here we are at another Friday and I am exhausted beyond belief. My fire alarm went off last night and scared the shit out of me. When trying to turn it off, I failed over and over again (still asleep) and had the company call me to make sure I was not burning alive. I changed the batteries and could not reset my system so I have them coming out tomorrow. I got back to sleep somewhere around 4am and had a major meeting today, so could not call in sick. I am not wide asleep at my desk, riding out the clock until nap time.

Have a great weekend. I will post the latest Blogcritics story later tonight after it has been on BC for 24 hours or so.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Kanrei is Back for Certain

Just a little F.Y.I. (I hate the term "FYI" for the record (I hate the expression "for the record" by the way (I am fine with "by the way"))), my latest rant has been published at Blogcritics. I am thinking that I really am back. I was worried that maybe that one was just a fluke or something, but I definitely found my nicotine-free political voice.

The subject of my latest rant is Scott McClellan's book, the revelations it makes, and his motives for why now. Please follow the link above and let me know what you think.

MSNBC= Too Little, Too Late

I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I read MSNBC for my news. Their ability to not only tell the news, but to predict it is astounding and has made me quite the legend of news analysis amongst my friends. I realize that I am telling my secrets to the world right now, but none of my friends read this blog so I feel safe sharing it with you, but please keep it under your hat and please buy a hat to keep it under if you are currently hatless. I am sure a haberdashery is somewhere in your locale and, if not, then the internets are great for such searches.

So anyway at 10:33 a.m. ET, Thurs., May. 29, 2008, MSNBC updated their page with a story entitled “In Miami, Spanish becoming primary language.” I am shocked. I live in Miami and have not noticed it is becoming the primary language. I always kind of thought it was the primary language. I know I have not spoken to my neighbors in the seven years I have owned my home because not a single one of them speak English. Neither do their neighbors or their neighbors’ neighbors. In fact, my whole cul-de-sac is actually a micro South American country unto itself. It was not until this year that a couple moved in that spoke English and that was only because they were my friends and I saw a “for rent” sign. Lucky me, it was in English so none of my neighbors knew it was available.

To be honest, I should not be moaning that MSNBC has finally discovered that Miami is the real front in the battle against illegal immigration considering how many years I have been complaining that the Mexican boarder gets all the attention. I just wish it was sooner rather than later because the damage has already been done here; the battle is over and we lost.

In high school I remember seeing a bumper sticker that read: will the last American to leave Miami please remember to bring the flag. I guess that is going to be my duty.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friday Doesn't Need a Name!

Friday! My last weekend with my PS3. A three day weekend. A new Indiana Jones movie in the theaters. An article published in an online magazine. I am not sure what “Club Troppo” is aside from some news site based in Australia, but they quote my Blogcritics story this week. They have this:

Things that are younger than John McCain (via the Hoydens). Brad Schader chimes in:
And I am not talking numeric age, but rather his mental age. The simple truth is that the events of John McCain’s youth, while tragic and his survival and overcoming of them heroic, have taken its toll on his mind and the man is mentally older than his age.

Yes, I Google myself after an essay gets published. It is probably some of an ego I used to once have. Why else would I wonder if anyone took note of something I wrote? Too bad there is a grammatical error in that statement. Why did I not notice it before I sent it in? Where it says “truth is that the events of John McCain’s youth, while tragic and his survival and overcoming of them heroic, have”, it should be has, not have. Oh well.

I cannot say I am going to write this weekend since I am sending back my PS3 and I am 65% finished with GTA4. I figure I am going to just have a massive session this long weekend and send it back on Tuesday. I mean, the games work, just the Blu Ray player doesn’t.

Oh, and I awoke to feeling like a complete wimp today. I removed my Band-Aid brand adhesive bandage from my Indy finger and could barely see the bruise. I had to squint to see the slightest tinge of discoloration. It was not even worthy of the post I made yesterday let alone the panic I did not bother to mention. I am such a wimp.

Have a great weekend and, even though I will be stealing, killing, and racing, I will still begin planning my next essay. I forgot the rush of being published and boy is that a great feeling.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The "Return to Blogcritics" Post

Hello my fellow political junkies; it's been awhile. Quitting smoking and politics is not a very conducive match and therefore, in the interest of my own personal health, I took the year off politics. Well, now that I feel I have successfully beaten the beast, I feel it is time to return to my true love and see how different it looks without the haze of nicotine blocking my view. Looking over the prospects vying for the office of President and taking into consideration the fiasco that has been the last eight years, I can't help but think of the classic Lloyd Bridges quote from Airplane: looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.

I honestly cannot find any real hope anywhere on the horizon if what we are currently seeing is the best options our entire country could produce. I really tend to think that any real candidate who would have run is waiting until 2012. What sane person would willingly walk into the path of an avalanche? I mean, with the war in Iraq and the economy, whomever takes that oath on January 20, 2009 is pretty much doomed to a one term failure.

Regardless, these appear to be our choices and, like any good political junkie, I have an opinion on them all and am more than eager to share them with any and everyone.

John McCain

Let's take care of the Republicans first: mainly because there is only one running, but also because the argument against him is fairly simple and won't take much time. Ready? He is too old. That's mostly it. And I am not talking numeric age, but rather his mental age. The simple truth is that the events of John McCain's youth, while tragic and his survival and overcoming of them heroic, have taken its toll on his mind and the man is mentally older than his age. The verbal “gaffes” he has made on the campaign trail thus far could be written off to fatigue, but the truth is he has yet to really begin campaigning. If he is error making tired now, then that only further shows how unfit for office he really is.

Hillary Clinton

I have never liked Hillary and, for the record, I loved Bill and actually would have loved for him to have a third term. I tend to see Hillary as someone with an agenda that she has yet to tell the world, but everything she does seems like some conscious move towards some sinister goal. I can't put my finger on what exactly makes me feel this way nor can I even guess as to what her end game may be, but there is that feeling I get that I can only explain as the same a child would get from that creepy old man and his overly eager hugs. Every fiber of my being just yells “run” whenever I think of her and the Oval Office.

Barack Obama

I am going to take flack here and I know it. I get a very similar creepy feeling from him as that I get from Hillary, but it is different at the same time. I believe Obama has the best intentions, but is too smart for the job and that, combined with his lack of experience will make him weak. Think Jimmy Carter, only instead of the late 70's, place him right in the middle of the Vietnam war. There is no time for “on the job training” and a man that smart needs to study a problem before fixing it. With a lack of time, a smart man's next step would be to take the advice of those around him whom he trusts and therein is the big problem with Obama. He has shown over and over again to me that his judgment of who to listen to is lacking.

If McCain runs against Obama, then I believe McCain will win. McCain is fairly “bulletproof” when it comes to unexposed skeletons in his closet; Rove made sure of that in the 1999 Republican primary. Obama, on the other hand, is a total mystery. He was introduced to the world at the 2004 Democratic Primary as the next President of the United States at Kerry's event (and the Dems wonder how Kerry lost) and was running for the presidency before he even ran for the Senate. He is a prime target for that dreaded “October surprise” and, given the public's reactions to thing a fellow Democrat has brought out, it could be poll shattering at that crucial last minute.

McCain versus Hillary is more of an even money race to me. McCain edges over Hillary in that his age, that very same factor I hold against him, works for him in this case. Everyone knows he can only serve one term, so his chances of beating Hillary come down to his choice for Vice President and the theoretical Republican candidate in 2012. It is probably that one term factor that garnered him the Republican support he did get considering his supposed “maverick Republican” label.

The factor that makes the McCain- Hillary race a toss up is the fact that many people will vote for Hillary simply due to her marriage to Bill. There is also the aspect that she, like McCain, has had most of the skeletons already dragged from her closet as well. There is very little bad about her that we don't already know and don't already factor into our opinion of her. In reality, most people are probably going to sit out a McCain/ Hillary race simply due to the lack of difference between the two.

So, after all that, who do I actually want to be President? Simple actually: David Palmer, but he is dead...and fictional, so that really is not going to help us.

I think we need to realize that we, as a nation, are looking at a very hard next few years; a resolve testing hard time. We are going to find out if we really live up to how we expect the world to see us. Just remember that any tee-shirt you see with the phrase “I survived the Bush years and all I have is the lousy tee- shirt” that it is copy written by yours truly.

I really need a smoke.

Owie, Owie, Owie, Ow, Ow, Owie, and Ouch!

I broke my cherry today! I know, I know; this is a “diary type” post and I swore off of them, but it is still three hours until I am clear to post my Blogcritics essay and am in the mood to post so, I broke my cherry today! Besides, I think that is what the "Lemming Files" label is for actually. Anyway, after 37 years on this Earth, I finally slammed my finger in a door. Ya know they were right- busting one’s cherry does hurt.

Ironic that I am in the mood to post, an act requiring typing, considering it is my index finger that was determined to get an inside look at the inner workings of a door and it’s supporting frame, but there ya have it.

And slamming my finger in the door is not the stupid part of the exchange either, but the postscript. The stupid part was just before when, in Radio Shack, I tried to leave by pushing on the door clearly labeled “PULL.” It was at this moment that Indy, the finger, decided to risk life and limb (it is a finger so its limb is its life) and see that doorframe from the inside. Now I have a small, but growing black and blue spot under my nail and a very off-tempo thumping. This is my “trigger finger” for Grand Theft Auto too!

Speaking of GTA, I picked a great time to renew my blogging bug since my PS3 is still broken and being sent back to Sony yet again. Yes, I caved in and am playing the Sony game. I know I threatened to switch to Xbox, but I already have almost $300 invested in downloaded extras for PS3 games and cannot re-spend that money for Xbox. I am locked in so hopefully I just got an asshole last time and things will go smoothly now.

OK, I got to stop now. I keep using my Indy finger like a moron to type and it hurts now. Until later…

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

UPDATED @ 3:55

Well, I submitted my essay to Blogcritics last night and am waiting for a response. I am nervous with anticipation; not so much about if they will accept it or not (they tend to accept most things once you are a member), but how the response will be. While waiting, I looked through my old articles there and was reading through the comments left. I forgot how much people tend to disagree with my political view points.

Am I really prepared to argue my points in this, the nicotine-free era? I probably should have thought about that before I sent my essay in, but it is too late now and probably for the best. I chicken out quite a bit when given the option to.

I also have been known to take conflicting opinions personally; as if the other person is insulting my ability to reason by disagreeing with me. I have gotten much better since then, but I have just thrown myself into the lion’s den full of experienced political arguers. I may be out of my league. Again, it is too late for that now and probably for the best.

Working on a new parody today by the way. What do you think?

To the tune of the first part of “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen
This is up to the opera part.

Are these the choices?
Please can we vote again
I can’t believe that
(this is) the best Dem and Republican
I need a real choice
I can’t accept this fate
(because it’s) Tweedle Dumb versus
Tweedle Dee
What has this populace
Done to me
Living in a cliché
Doesn’t seem to matter to them, to them

Mama is voting for a man
Who no one really knows
Yet his support still grows
Mama, this race has just begun
So please don’t go and throw your vote away
Mama, oooo
You know I never lie
And just can’t believe this guy is real
But they do, but they do
As if this election doesn’t matter

Too late
The economy
Is getting lower every day
And our hopes all slip away
Good bye super power- it was nice for sure
But we got too full of ourselves to see the truth
Mama, oooo (anyway the polls blow)
I don’t mean my actual mother
But that is just the way the song really goes

And we are off. Part two coming soon. I need a cigarette =D

The Update I am back! You can see the article here. Whew. Now the hard part of other people's comments.

Monday, May 19, 2008

A Sort of Movie Review for a Film you Don't Want to See

My nicotine-free writing is going much slower than I expected, but it is still going and that is the important part. I am also finding out I am not as angry when it comes to politics as I used to be which is also making the writing of my latest essay all the more difficult. I am disgusted yes, but disgusted only takes you so far and my writing style depends upon anger. Basically, what I am trying to say is that I am a little behind on my essay and hope to complete it tonight or tomorrow night, submit it to Blogcritics by Wednesday, and have it here on Thursday. You will have to put up with this until then.

This weekend I saw a movie that has haunted me since it ended. The movie was called An American Crime and stars Ellen Page as Sylvia Likens, a poor 16 year old girl who was tortured to death by the woman, the children of, and friends of the children of the woman whose care she was left in. The film is brutal, unrelenting, unmerciful, amazingly well made and acted, and the last movie I will ever recommend to anyone ever. Just click here for all the nightmares you will ever need. I wish I had before watching it Saturday night on Showtime.

The worst part of An American Crime for me is, for all the horror the movie alludes to (but thankfully does not show), the makers still skipped out on the absolute worst things this poor girl was put through. They shock you into telling yourself they are exaggerating to make a movie so you look up the details and find out the movie is a G rated affair compared to the NC-17 horrors this girl was subjected to; not rape thankfully mind you, but everything possible up to.

And most of the horrors were committed by children aged 10-17 under the direction of a 38 year old woman upon a 16 year old girl they knew, went to school with, went to Church with, and was supposed to take care of.

Performance wise, An American Crime gets 10 of 10 for its cast, but, as I said, there is no way in Hell I can recommend this film to anyone. Rent Juno or Hard Candy instead to watch Ellen Page act and my G-d can that girl act!

Please excuse the fragmented nature of this post, but this is the effect this film has. I was prepared to write about it until I started writing about it. The memories of what happened which are required to really write a review, has me unhinged all over again. I don’t cry from movies, but I did for a good hour or so after this one ended.

Basically, I am going to blame this movie on my lack of finishing my essay instead of my not smoking. On a happier note:

To the tune of "Cocaine" as performed by Eric Clapton

If you were impressed with Bush then this guy needs your push; McCain
If you love the Iraq war, then you know who you’re for; McCain
He’s too lame, he’s too lame, he’s too lame; McCain

If you love bad news, then check out this dude; McCain
Can’t keep his lies straight and he can’t concentrate; McCain
He’s too old, he’s too old, he’s too old; McCain

If you accept our fate and believe that it’s too late; McCain
So don’t forget this fact, he supported Bush’s crap; McCain
He’s all wrong, he’s all wrong, he’s all wrong; McCain

Friday, May 16, 2008


I feel as if my blog is circling the drain and actually wanting to go down, but I have kept it tethered and barely alive for almost a year now, not allowing it peace for some unknown reason. I lost my voice and have been pretending as if it were still there, posting rambling pointless rants on nothing of any consequence to anyone. Where I used to at least challenge people with some new abstract thought they successfully avoided for most of their lives, I now am just a spot to come and waste a few minutes on mindless nothing: a place to relax and leave your mind at the door. I realize there are needs for places like that, but I never intended to run one.

When I started blogging, I swore never to allow this place to become just another online diary and that is exactly what this place has become. I take no joy in reading the details of other people’s lives and therefore have never wanted to subject anyone to the inner workings of my own, but what else really have I blogged about? I don’t even write movie reviews anymore for G-d’s sake! I talk about my feelings on certain issues in my life and then leave my blog for days on end with nothing. I find myself posting simply because I haven’t in a few days time, regardless of the fact that I have nothing to say.

All this changed last night as I sat in front of my computer and began my first political essay in the nicotine-free era. It was difficult for certain and I did not have the patience to finish it in one sitting like cigarettes used to help me do, but I did start one and that is enough for me. I hope to have it finished by Sunday or Monday at the latest. I then plan on submitting it to Blogcritics for publishing and should have it up here 24 hours after Blogcritcs accepts it ( how it that for optimism?).

Oh, and it feels great to know I am about to make so many people upset with my standard non-standard political opinions. There is nothing as satisfying for me as a writer than upsetting people on all sides of any issue at one time while remaining 100% correct in my beliefs. I can almost guarantee that, regardless of who you support or don’t for the office of the President, you will be upset at how I see your candidate’s chances of being a good leader.

Oh yea, it’s Friday as well and I am feeling so much better today. I don’t endorse products here, but Excedrin is a miracle worker relieving a headache that no other aspirin or aspirin type pill has.

Have a great weekend.

Friday, May 09, 2008

It's Flyday

It is Friday and I am not in a happy mood. My mother left for New Orleans for my sister-in-law’s baby shower and my two best friends are leaving for Europe. Three out of the four people who mean the most to me in the world are traveling today on planes and I always get nervous when just one or two are in flight so forget about 75%! I am positive they will all be fine, but that does not stop the Devil’s advocate (not Keanu Reeves, but Mr. Worry) from sitting on my shoulder whispering all those sweet nothings in my ear. I can’t help but worry; I’m Jewish and worry is one of our most frequently used forms of prayer.

Because of my intense worry, I am going to cut it short this Friday for now and just simply wish all of you a great weekend and please stay away from planes. I really don’t need any more to worry about.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Stupid Alarm Stupid Clock Stupid Bed

Today I feel lethargic, tired, run-down, exhausted, sleepy, in dire need of some shut eye, winded, like my dogs are barking and in need of being put down, hackneyed, banal, overused, and synonym-less. I think it has to do with my waking up twenty minutes before my alarm this morning, but deciding to remain in bed and subsequently falling back into a deep sleep.

I have not heard my alarm in years and forgot that I had it set to the country station and TURNED UP VERY LOUD! I shat my pants almost when it went off, disrupting my newly rediscovered REM sleep. I think I was dreaming of calling in sick too, which did not make waking up for the second time in one day any easier. Stupid payroll responsibilities making me go in to the office when I was so comfy in my bed… The good news…no, the great news is that naptime is rapidly approaching. Yay naptime!

Friday, May 02, 2008

It's Friday, Joe Friday

What rhymes with “Bri’s Way,” but has nothing to do with anyone named Brian or any way that they may do something? Yes, that is correct: it is Friday and I am your host, Kanrei. Welcome to yet another “It’s Friday” here at KHWL. In fact, this would be the 82nd Friday we have celebrated together which would qualify us for Airborne status. Rangers HO! Yes, the Home for Wayward Lemmings is older than 82 weeks, but I tragically have missed a Friday or two in my tenure as Lemming Host. I would normally add “so sue me,” but in George Bush’s America, you very well might and actually win so please don’t.

Is he live of dead/ has he thoughts within his head

For the longest time, those lyrics could have been describing Robert Downy, Jr, but instead they are being used as a gimmick for his latest movie: Iron Man. I have nothing else to add to that; I just wanted a cheap joke somewhere in today’s post. It does look like a fun summer popcorn movie and, unlike most other comic book based movies, I actually do not know Iron Man’s history and therefore can just enjoy the movie like most people have be able to enjoy Spiderman or X-men. It should be a blast (pun slightly intended).

In other Kanrei news- I have temporarily suspended my virtual rock star aspirations to become a Russian crime lord in Liberty City for a time. I still play the guitar, but now it is broken up with driving fast and killing people. It is funny, but in my old age I find myself actually spending more time playing the actual story in Grand Theft Auto IV than I used to. In college, the game was mainly just a sandbox for me to kill, steal, and cause chaos. Now, I find it annoying to get the cops after me and have no desire to hurt anyone. I am even letting people escape where I used to hunt them down. Amazing how time alters your perspective. I am pretty sure I will have outgrown the franchise by the time GTA V comes out. My PS3 is probably very close to becoming a Rock Band only machine and that is not a bad thing at all.

So, I wrote about a comic book movie and a video game and came to the conclusion that I am growing up…only in the Blogosphere could that make any sense. Have a great weekend to all and I will see you Monday.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Sony is So Sorry it's Pathetic

A blog has many functions. For some, it is a diary that they can write in from anywhere. For some, it gives a voice to their inner critic, be that entertainment, political, or just general. For some, it is a place to exercise all those wacky and ridiculous thoughts. My blog fills all those needs for me and today it will fill a new one: recording of my spat with Sony.

I sent my Playstation 3 into Sony for repairs two weeks ago as many of you know. It was freezing every time I tried to watch a Bluray movie and, since it was still under warranty, I decided to let Sony fix it for me. Well, yesterday I got it back and I was happier than any kid has ever been on any Christmas morning ever and was literally giddy on my drive home from work, eager to try my baby out. Well, five minutes into the Simpson's movie found me staring once again at a frozen PS3. Sony did nothing! I compared the serial number of my new one with the number of my old broken one and found the numbers were the same. I looked on the invoice for what exact repairs were done to my PS3 and it was blank. WHAT THE FUCK?

Quickly, I called Sony’s customer service and was just as quickly transferred to technical support and was just as quickly placed on hold for half an hour. Finally I got someone and began to tell her my story. She was sympathetic and suggested I send it back to them (again) for them to fix. I told her I was not comfortable with that because they already “fixed” it once and obviously could not find the problem, so I asked for a new one. She said they would not send me a new one, but would send me a refurbished one. This means one they had sent in and repaired. I said to her that was not totally acceptable either because, as I had pointed out, they had sent me back this one as repaired so I had little reason to believe they would get it right. I asked her again if I could have a replacement. She said no.

Now, at this point I must pause. I know she is limited in what she can say to me by the “policies and procedures” manual they use, so I asked her to speak to a supervisor, but she said there was no one with the power to give me a new PS3. After ten minutes of circular conversation I finally got someone on the phone with authority, but it was the authority to be an asshole. He said it was not Sony’s policy to replace defective equipment with a new replacement and that it said so clearly on the warranty. Attitude was just dripping off his words. The problem is that the warranty clearly states that Sony will “repair or replace with a new or refurbished unit at Sony’s option” so the option is there. Also, Florida has a lemon law and I did send in my product for repairs and they obviously could not find the problem. That makes my PS3 a lemon. I told the guy he just lost a customer to Xbox and he said “great, have a good day” and hung up.

Long story short- my PS3 still doesn’t play Blu Rays and I am going to try and deal with Sony again tomorrow when I get home and pray I don’t get an asshole. I am too tired today and it will probably devolve into a fight again. I just need to have the person read the warranty along with me and see that there is an option to give me a new one. If they don’t have the same model, I will take a step down. I just want one that works.