Monday, February 29, 2016

Donald Trump Superstar: The Musical

Former Trump Supporter- My mind is clearer now
At last all too well I can see where we all soon will be
If you strip away
The myth from the man
You will see
Where we all 
Soon will be
You started to believe
The things they say of you
YOu really do believe
A Trump Presidency will be true
And all the crap you've done
Will soon see the light of day
You've begun to matter less
Than the things you say

Listen Donald, I don't like what I see
You might win the Presidency
So please remember
You were a liberal not so long ago
Keep these thoughts in your mind
And hope the Republicans are blind
Or else they will destroy you before the final show

Donald, Jersey's favorite son
Should avoid Washington
Say on TV late a night
You can still pretend you were right

The RNC Media- I don't know how to love him
I don't know why he moves them
He's a man
He's just a man
He is not a Bush
He is not even a Rubio
I know
He scares me so

The RNC- So you are the nominee
Yes, the great nominee
Prove to me that you're for real
Help with this business deal
Or has something gone wrong
Trump, why do you take so long
You're a joke, not the nominee
You won't see the Presidency

Reporter: I think I've seen you somewhere
I remember
You were with that man
They with racist thought
He hates every other  race

Trump: You've got the wrong man, lady
I don't know him
And I can’t condemn the things he says
His votes I can’t replace

Reporter: That's strange
For I am sure I saw you with him
You were right by his side
And yet you deny it?

Trump: I tell you
I was never ever with him

Another Reporter: But I saw you too
It looked just like you

Trump: I don't know him!!!


Wednesday, February 24, 2016


So I am sitting on the floor of the shower in the guest room of my parent's house.  I have two pillows on the floor for me to sit on; my iPad tuned into Netflix; my phone next to me on the floor; and my bag opened at the end and sitting in a bucket.   It was the weirdest prep I have ever done, but it will be par for the course from now on.   And it was surprisingly easy.

The stuff tastes like crap.  It is like cheap lemonade made using sea water and adding a salt lick for flavor.   It is a flavor your body does all it can to prevent you from drinking because it believes it to be poison.   My mind was not just telling my arm, but yelling orders at it to bend and allow my mouth to drink that crap and my arm continuously rebelled.     The times my arm relented to the commands, my throat would then close and ask "are you sure this is something humans consume?"   It took far too long and I didn't really drink enough of it to make my doctor all Sunshine Smiles, but it was enough.

There was one nightmare- it was mostly liquid and liquid finds holes and flows.   Oh my yes did I leak.   Lucky for me and more lucky for my  mom's expensive sheets, I foresaw this coming which is why I set up shop in the shower.  It was surprisingly comfortable in there and I have no back or neck pains from sleeping there.    I just watched Netflix and emptied the bucket every 45 minutes or so; sprayed continuous air freshener, and counted down until I could eat.

So I broke the streak of bad luck with these tests.   The track record of cancer, lose your rectum, cancer, lose your colon has been broken.    I am now planning on a streak of "looks great, see you in a year."    I love my doctor dearly, but don't want to have to see him.

Monday, February 22, 2016

OK...I Admit It; I'm Scared.

I'm not nervous.  I'm not concerned.  I'm not worried.  I am officially scared: hand shaking, nervous gut, obsessive thought scared.  I wish I could say I don't know what to expect, but sadly I do and that is what is scaring me.   I lost you, didn't I?  Let me back up a bit.

February 24th, at 7:30 AM I am having my first colonoscopy through my stoma, but that isn' t what is scaring me.   While it is true every other colonoscopy I have had has ended in rather bad news (cancer, cancer again, have to lose most of your rectum, have to lose half your colon, etc), this time I fear the prep.  

Have you had a colonoscopy before?  

Done the prep?  Me too.  It sucks with a rectum, but this time I am filling a bag and won't know when I am going until the bag is full.  

How often will this happen?

For how long?  

Should I just stand in the shower or should I try to keep up with emptying the bag?  

What if it goes while I am between bags?

Will it shoot out like a water gun or dribble like a stroke victim?  

All of this is running through my mind as well as some other gross questions I won't post here, but as you can see I don't have time to worry about the results yet.   I will worry about that starting Wednesday and will worry and worry until I hear otherwise.   My PETScan came out clean, but who knows?