Wednesday, February 24, 2016


So I am sitting on the floor of the shower in the guest room of my parent's house.  I have two pillows on the floor for me to sit on; my iPad tuned into Netflix; my phone next to me on the floor; and my bag opened at the end and sitting in a bucket.   It was the weirdest prep I have ever done, but it will be par for the course from now on.   And it was surprisingly easy.

The stuff tastes like crap.  It is like cheap lemonade made using sea water and adding a salt lick for flavor.   It is a flavor your body does all it can to prevent you from drinking because it believes it to be poison.   My mind was not just telling my arm, but yelling orders at it to bend and allow my mouth to drink that crap and my arm continuously rebelled.     The times my arm relented to the commands, my throat would then close and ask "are you sure this is something humans consume?"   It took far too long and I didn't really drink enough of it to make my doctor all Sunshine Smiles, but it was enough.

There was one nightmare- it was mostly liquid and liquid finds holes and flows.   Oh my yes did I leak.   Lucky for me and more lucky for my  mom's expensive sheets, I foresaw this coming which is why I set up shop in the shower.  It was surprisingly comfortable in there and I have no back or neck pains from sleeping there.    I just watched Netflix and emptied the bucket every 45 minutes or so; sprayed continuous air freshener, and counted down until I could eat.

So I broke the streak of bad luck with these tests.   The track record of cancer, lose your rectum, cancer, lose your colon has been broken.    I am now planning on a streak of "looks great, see you in a year."    I love my doctor dearly, but don't want to have to see him.

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