Saturday, January 30, 2010


It's a dream
It's real
It's a real dream
A wet dream
A nocturnal emission
Drug induced in a cheap motel room tribute
Biblical in nature
Circular in shape
Arrogant in disposition
Fullback in position
French souffle' surprise
My eyes can't take the stares of the masses
Late for classes
Rambling in the frost bitten haze of youth
Folly and misguided
Given to miss and miss to given
The world turns slowly outside a counter-clockwise cafe
Have you seen it
My dream
It's real

Monday, January 25, 2010

Why Already? Just Why?

Why don't we double other letters? What makes "U" so special that it gets its own space, waits a letter, then doubles itself and pretends to be an entirely different letter? Technically speaking, the "Double U" looks more like two "V's." Really! What does this look like to you: W? Does it look like "UU" or like "VV?" Are we prejudice against the letter "V?" Does "U" get special status because it is a vowel? If so, why no "Double A" or "Double I?" OK, AA is Alcoholics Anonymous and a Double I is a bi-clops, but you get the point! There are not 26 letters, there are 25 with one doubled! Get it right!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Boredom

A boredom has set in. I can feel in deep within the marrow of my bones. I can feel it pulse in my veins. It is a very thick, almost syrupy boredom with far reaching tentacles and testicles to match. It is one of those "all encompassing" boredom's that makes even the most exciting activity you can imagine uninteresting.

"Wanna go to a concert?"

Naw, I think I'll just watch tv.

"Wanna go to a bar?"

Naw, I think I'll just stare at the wall.

"Wanna go see a movie?"

Naw, I think I'll just watch flies fuck.

"Wanna go have a guaranteed easy lay with a Super Model?"

Naw, I think I'll just....well, my mom reads this blog, but you get the point. I am BORED!

And before you suggest it, having another person around me would not have prevented this attack on my motivation, but rather would have spread into them as well causing a "Sloth Epidemic" of Biblical proportions. It is actually for the best, at times like these, that I am solitary.

Could you imagine what would happen if my lethargy actually escaped into the vast sprawling metropolis that is Miami? Think of what would happen if millions of people suddenly became disinterested and totally lethargic to the point that even their automatic body functions start to complain about having to work. I guess, more to the point, think of what WOULDN'T happen!

Come to think of it, this town is so coked up and on a myriad of other drugs that I doubt lethargy is even a possibility for the South Beach crowd. They would actually probably pay top dollar to score some of my unmotivational slack. I could just stand on some corner in downtown Miami and just speak to people for $10 a minute.

My boredom is airborne and easily transmitted. I don't even have to speak for it to pass so long as my words still convey the utter disparaging endlessness of boredom. Even text will do in a pinch. Perhaps I should have included that in a warning at the beginning, huh? Better late than never I suppose.

The previous text contained subliminal boredom codes that was acting on the receptors within the "unknown science-type name" of your brain; the left side to be specific. I designed it that way so that only the right handed people would be affected by it. THE LEFT HANDED PEOPLE WILL PREVAIL!

PS-I am still bored.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

While I May..

While I may sing the body electric and I am considering celebrating the me yet to come; I will not toast to my own reunion when I become one with the sun because I don't drink, I suck at giving toasts, and that sounds WAY too hot. I will look back on Venus and I will may look back at Mars if I make it to Jupiter, but I certainly will not burn with the fire of ten million stars because, once again, far too hot. Besides, in time, yes in time, we will all be stars, right?

Friday, January 01, 2010

Holy Phuck Batman!

I had not been to a Phish show since 2003, and that was my sole show since 1995, so to say I was out of the loop is an understatement. I went to the night before last night's show, but it was rather weak and I ended up leaving shortly after the start of the second set. It was not bad per say, but there was little energy and my friend was getting bored. He tried to pretend he wasn't for me, but I could tell and we left.

The experiances of the previous night left me not totally looking forward to the New Year's Eve show, but I had many MANY friends I had not seen in years coming down for it and I had to see them even if I was not motivated for the show. I had plans in my head to leave early again.

Before the show, I met up with my long lost friends at the Hyatt and, despite the decade or so since I last saw them, no time had moved between us; we picked up right where we ended. Jodi was still Jodi in every way she could be and Brett was Brett and I was 25 again.

Brett, being my high school friend, college room mate for years upon years, and oldest friend, naturally got my pre-show attention. It had been far too long since I last saw him; got to meet his fiance, and just reveled in how great he was doing. I actually got into the show a tad bit late as a result of hanging out with him, but it was showtime and I was hungry.

I entered the American Airlines Arena as AC/DC Bag was playing as the opener and I suddenly got very psyched. We had called this song being played tonight. The only thing I could hear that was any better as I approached my seat was "Brad" in Jodi's voice and can you believe I heard it? She was in the section right next to mine, so naturally I never saw my seat. This was our first show together since 1995! I got to meet and hang out with her, her husband (a really nice guy) and her friends, some of whom I actually knew from back in the day. A very deja vu night thus far, and it was only going to get stranger.

Phish, the reason for this gathering, was beyond on fire the entire night; barely slowing down or even stopping between songs. I found myself begging for a slow song just so I could stop dancing and sit down, but Phish clearly had other plans.

As Bathtub Gin turned into Punch You In the Eye (the song I wanted more than anything else) turned into the Moma Dance turned into a relentless Guyute, my legs just cried for mercy. Some relief was had during Swept Away and Lawnboy, but it was short lived as Julius closed the first set and Jodi's husband summed it up perfectly with "I can't believe we have two more of those to go." Holy fuck did we.

The Second Set began fooling me into thinking there might be some rest before the New Year kicked in as Rock and Roll was played, but Simple really showed that to be a false hope and Theme from the Bottom sealed the deal. Ghost into a surprising NO2 and Suzie Greenberg closed the last break to be had of 2009.

Party Time opened the third set. A song I never heard before, but it worked as a perfect lead up to the dropping of the disco ball to bring in 2010. Now my favorite Phish show is the NYE show from 1995 because of a rocking Down with Disease that followed Auld Lang Syne and I cannot hear one without hearing the other, so I was praying we would get one and the Phish gods were listening.

Confusion overtook the Miami....erm, American Airlines Arena as a giant cannon was brought onto the stage and Fishman, the drummer, was loaded into the disco ball which was then loaded into the cannon and fired towards a giant X.

It never made it and there was a feeble attempt to find his remains in the audience before "Sarah" answered Trey's cry of "does anyone know how to play drums" and finished the set with an amazing Fluffhead, Joy, Squirming Coil and You Enjoy Myself.

It was during Joy that I took my leave of Jodi and her husband and began my trek back home. I heard Coil start as I was leaving the Arena and knew You Enjoy Myself was all that was left. While I enjoy that song on tape, you can't fast forward through those annoying parts when live and they have a nasty habit of making that song really annoying sometimes.

It was an amazing show with amazing friends who proved that old thought that true friends remain true friends regardless of time spent unseen. I love them so. 2010 is looking good so far.