Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Boredom

A boredom has set in. I can feel in deep within the marrow of my bones. I can feel it pulse in my veins. It is a very thick, almost syrupy boredom with far reaching tentacles and testicles to match. It is one of those "all encompassing" boredom's that makes even the most exciting activity you can imagine uninteresting.

"Wanna go to a concert?"

Naw, I think I'll just watch tv.

"Wanna go to a bar?"

Naw, I think I'll just stare at the wall.

"Wanna go see a movie?"

Naw, I think I'll just watch flies fuck.

"Wanna go have a guaranteed easy lay with a Super Model?"

Naw, I think I'll just....well, my mom reads this blog, but you get the point. I am BORED!

And before you suggest it, having another person around me would not have prevented this attack on my motivation, but rather would have spread into them as well causing a "Sloth Epidemic" of Biblical proportions. It is actually for the best, at times like these, that I am solitary.

Could you imagine what would happen if my lethargy actually escaped into the vast sprawling metropolis that is Miami? Think of what would happen if millions of people suddenly became disinterested and totally lethargic to the point that even their automatic body functions start to complain about having to work. I guess, more to the point, think of what WOULDN'T happen!

Come to think of it, this town is so coked up and on a myriad of other drugs that I doubt lethargy is even a possibility for the South Beach crowd. They would actually probably pay top dollar to score some of my unmotivational slack. I could just stand on some corner in downtown Miami and just speak to people for $10 a minute.

My boredom is airborne and easily transmitted. I don't even have to speak for it to pass so long as my words still convey the utter disparaging endlessness of boredom. Even text will do in a pinch. Perhaps I should have included that in a warning at the beginning, huh? Better late than never I suppose.

The previous text contained subliminal boredom codes that was acting on the receptors within the "unknown science-type name" of your brain; the left side to be specific. I designed it that way so that only the right handed people would be affected by it. THE LEFT HANDED PEOPLE WILL PREVAIL!

PS-I am still bored.

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