Thursday, August 17, 2006

Talent Optional: Bye Bye Ms. American Pie

By Kanrei

Justin Timberlake does not think Taylor Hicks can sing. Shows he has some sense, but then again I think that Justin Timberlake thinks he can. There goes that sense of sense. I don't think a computer enhanced pop singer who can't write a song should criticize another created pop singer.

"The guy who won - people think he looks so normal, and he's so sweet, and he's so earnest, but he can't carry a tune in a bucket."

And you can? Is he jealous of Taylor? Does Justin want to annoy us every twenty minutes pushing Fords? I have not heard much from Justin Spea..Timberlake. Maybe he is jealous. I mean what has Justin done? There was that song I remem.... no. There were all those annoying Insync So how is he a celebrity? Only thing I know about him is that he appears to be another in a long line of singers who are better at self-promotion than they are at singing. A good sign of this is that I cannot name one song of his and he has been a "singer" for years.

Oh MTV, what have you wrought upon us? There was no MTV in the 70's. There was only radio and the 70's were possibly one of the greatest (and worst) eras for music. The highs and lows were a result of the same facet of that decade that vanished in the 80's with the birth of that channel: ugly bands could succeed.

There have always been two classes of musicans: the pretty stars and the ugly stars. The pretty stars had lives growing up. The ugly stars did not. They sat home perfecting their art while the pretty stars treated music as a hobby. To the ugly stars, music was a way to make something that was theirs. To the pretty stars, it was simply another way to get laid.

Queen was one ugly band. So was Thin Lizzy. Fleetwood Mac had Stevie Nicks, but that was it for that band. Elton John is beyond ugly and have you ever seen Barbra Streisand? These are all very talented musicians. Like their style of music or not, there is no denying Barbra Streisand's voice or Freddie Mercury's or Elton John's but none of them are nice to look at. Good thing they are in an audio art instead, right? Wrong, good thing they came out in the 70's. Video did indeed kill the radio star.

Music Television. The mere concept of it is so ridiculous. Music is an audio experience and television is a video experience. Music is free of context and flows. It creates its own images and own feelings. Television provides all of that for you. Music is astral, not created my man, but flowing through man. Television shows the music being made and destroys the illusion. Music is about the sound. Television is about the performer.

There is no place today for ugly musicians unless they are willing to go full freak show. The Jim Croches and James Taylors of today will never make it because they are too unattractive to sing love songs. They would not look right in their video. A band being signed today must actually worry about how they look in a video. Music comes second.

Growing up, I had no idea about the people behind my favorite groups. I did not know their names, what they looked like or how many members there were. Yes, I know Pink Floyd and Rush like the back of my hand now, but it was years before I saw what Geddy Lee or Roger Waters looked like. I still have never seen what Jethro Tull looks like or Gerry Rafferty. I don't want to know. The music is magical to me right now, almost religious and seeing the people it came from would be like knowing how a magician did his best trick.

Paris Hilton not only has an album coming out, but it is getting good reviews. Britney Spears has had numerous hits as has Jessica Simpson, Insync, Justin Timberlake, and countless others. None of them can write a song. None of them can sing, but they all look good trying. Today, that is all that counts. Get one or two albums out of them and move on.

The worst part of all this is the classic rock void to come. It is bad enough Metallica is now considered classic rock, but imagine the day that Korn is thought of with Zeppelin. Thank you MTV! You kill music then become a reality show station determined to kill all entertainment.

Keep on cheerleading the apocalypse. At this rate, I may welcome it.

No comments: