Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Rise of the Rodem


By Kanrei

There is a new creature cowering in the shadows of American politics. It is as much of a threat to our future as the Neocons are. Infact, they share the same affliction. You see them every day and fall under their spell without even knowing it has been cast. It is the Rovian Democrat, genus: Recognitionicon Species: Egoisticous; recently evolved/devolved into “Rodem, named for its tendency to behave in a "Karl Rove" like manner when it comes to elections and winning at any cost to anyone.

The Rodem is a crafty creature, more cunning than an average rat in their ability to survive, often with uncanny political instincts. They can hide their true nature for years; some for decades. They are masters of camouflage. It must be stressed that the Rodem is, in reality, not a Democrat. It is more of a cancer on the Democratic Party. It can adapt to the political atmosphere of any region. It is a virus that spreads through a lack of power. Members of the Republican Party caught it in the early 90's and devolved into the Neocons. Now the power vacuum has moved to the left and so has the Rodem.

The Rodem is a parasite at best, and, as I said, a member of the Virus family. It sustains its life by sucking the negative attitudes of its geographical location and, mimicking cancer, can actually accelerate the negative attitudes of their surroundings. They attach themselves to a political party that is completely out of power and begin to infect the party with hate and distrust.

It is the infection caused by the Rodem that creates the major problem of a Rodem outbreak. Since the Rodem survives on negative political attitudes, it must do all it can to foster these attitudes and try to spread them throughout the nation. The Rodem outbreak was contained to Texas before 1992, but it broke out and seized power. It got a president impeached and devalued the office and the concept of impeachment in the process. The problem is that it did too well. It became the power and weakened. Lucky for the Rodem, the Florida 2000 election offered it a chance to spread into a new party and begin anew.

The Rodem is a cannibalistic parasite that has no loyalty to anything other than itself. Because of this selfish and egocentric aspect of its nature, those infected are very easy to spot. They include Ted Kennedy, Barbara Boxer, and Nancy Pelsoi. Past victims of this political career crippling disease include Ken Starr, Newt Gingrich, Bill Frist, Tom DeLay, Rev. Al Sharpton, Dr. James Dobson, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Jessie Helms, and Dan Rather.

The symptoms of infection can include any of the following: lashing out at friends and co-workers; failure to find fault in one's own actions; feelings of persecution; inconsistent political views; attention to problems with unrealistic solutions or none at all; rambling; justifying actions by comparing them to another's; and/or press conferences over anything.

I may have overstated the problem in my opening. Creature was probably harsh for those infected with Rodem. They were probably all once great people and true to their beliefs, but, since becoming infected, they are more animal now than man. They need our help, and the first step in their recovery is to take away their power. Stop listening to them, stop voting for them, stop following them and their infection will pass. They need our help, not our scorn. Hate the disease, not the victim.

6 comments:

RexZeitgiest said...

Nice new set up Kan....now get on your knees and thank god for the Noecons protecting you!

RexZeitgiest said...

Neocons*

Serena Joy said...

Is there a 12-step for this pitiful disease? I'd be willing to sponsor a couple. Just please, not Al Sharpton or Newt Gingrich -- I have to draw the line somewhere.:)

kanrei said...

It is a one step program and they really have to do nothing. We are the cure.
If they are on the radio: turn it off
If they are on TV:turn it off
If they run of office:vote for the other person.
If they support a cause:support the other one.

kanrei said...

We must do it for them

Serena Joy said...

"We must do it for them"

Since it's all for a good cause, I'm in.