Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Leaving Paris for the Brooke in Florida


By Kanrei

Fellow Lemmings. Today, we retire someone who has been with us almost since the beginning. I am sure this is more of a vacation than retirement, but still we must let them go for now.

Paris Hilton must be retired. She will never go away as long as people like me keep writing about her. Brooke Hogan on the other hand is just starting out and is just as bad! I am so happy I saved that picture of her on my desktop. This will not take me long.

What The Hell Was That Girl Thinking?!?! Brooke Hogan is a really attractive girl, hell she is beautiful! Her father is Hulk Hogan and her MySpace page says Miami, Fl so I am going to watch what I say here. She is gorgeous to be blunt. I understand she is going into hip hop and she is not only white as white can be, but blonde haired and blue eyed as well not to mention upper, upper, upper class and her dad is Hulk Hogan. I understand all of that could be major obsticles to "street cred", but what the hell is up with those teeth?

Oh yea, her music.

Her “style” is generic bubblegum pop. From the one song on her site, she is better than Paris, but does that really say very much? “About Us” seems more like it is a Paul Wall single with her being the guest star instead of the other way around. Hearing this music does help explain the picture a little, a very little. Not the teeth of course.

Sorry, focus!


According to one of her many official sites, the album appears to be a concept album of sorts. I got to stop saying “album”. Her CD is a conceptual CD of sorts. “It's about me living in the spotlight and braving false media rumors.” You know it will be quality too because “It's produced by Scott Storch, who has also worked with Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, Mario and 50 Cent”. She certainly knows how to market herself already, I will give her that. She has ringtones. I don't have ringtones. Lemmingline ringtones...I like it!

Focus, almost done. Sorry.

BUT WHAT IS UP WITH THOSE TEETH? I really did not want to write about celebrities today. I wanted to do another political piece. I wanted to bitch about Republicans or something. Madonna and Brooke just won't let me.


My fellow Lemmings since I have just retired Paris Hilton, say hello to Brooke and give Paris a kiss good-bye.

4 comments:

missouri-lisa said...

Kan:

If you make one more Paris article, I'll stop coming here!!

kanrei said...

Did you read this one? She is retired from the House of Lemmings now

missouri-lisa said...

I must have misunderstood it.

Check your emails.

kanrei said...

I found a local target =D
Brooke Hogan is the trifecta for my pop culture scorn: famous daughter, reality show star, and now pop singer. Looking at those teeth, this will be fun.