Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Don't Know What You Got 'Til It's Gone

Those devious bastards! Those greedy, devious, underhanded, whorish, selfish, egotistical, self-centered bastards! I mean come the fu...almost cussed, but come on already. How about a damn warning or something first maybe? Is that too much to ask for? I suppose it is because those greedy, devious, underhanded, whorish, selfish, egotistical, self-centered (looks at line above to make sure he got it all) bastards did not bother with the warning! No, not Bill Gates and his Microsoft Mafia! No warning, no nothing- just cut off my free demo of Microsoft Office yet again! I hate you sometimes Bill, I really do.

Some of you may recall the brief hiatus at the Lemming House exactly 90 days ago. I know it was 90 days ago because that was when I downloaded my second version of the free Office demo. I even mocked that they had an option that stated "I am downloading the free demo because I do not want to buy it." I thought it was hilarious, only I am not the one laughing now. Damn you Bill Gates!

Focus Kanrei, focus. Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ohhhmmmmmmm. Fluffy clouds; fluffy clouds; no fluffy bunnies; no fluffy bunnies. OK, I'm better now.

As I am sure you have surmised, my latest version of the free demo has once again expired and I am once again Word-less. Funny how you bitch and scream about how much you hate something until you don't have it anymore and then you cannot figure out how to proceed without it. I am sitting on my bed right now looking at old photos of me and the free demo of Word; listening to our songs and telling myself I will meet a word processing program again one day. I am still young and any program would be happy to receive my words. In fact, its Word's loss, not mine. I will only be stronger for this. Besides, I can still get some spell-check action on the side from Firefox.

And for the record I never cheated on Word with Firefox; we were only friends. Firefox was always willing to correct my spelling, but I was a loyal guy to Word and never once strayed. Well, maybe that one time, but it was long ago and we were separated. Then there was that time with Notepad, but it meant nothing to me. OK, there was also that time I used pen and paper, but there is no way Word could ever have known about that! Besides, those other methods never corrected my spelling the way Word did.

I guess the reason they were asking us if we were downloading the free demo was to see if it was impacting their sales. People like me felt the option allowed us to be totally honest and we admitted we were too cheap to buy it. The smart move would be to therefore remove the full version of the demo and change it to a limited version. Microsoft is a smart company damn it.

And damn you Bill Gates just because. You give to charity and are smart and I hear a very nice guy. I know none of this is technically your fault and I should just buy the damn program and such, but, as I have said over and over, damn you! You are rich and I am not and that is enough reason for me to say damn you so damn you. I want my Word back!

Fine! That's it! I am going to hold my breath until my head starts to thump a little and then I am going to exhale, take another breath and keep doing this over and over until I get my Word back! So there!

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