Monday, January 29, 2007

Close Call in the Soda Wars

Most of the time I have an imagination that is running amok and it takes almost nothing to start me off on some weird trip. I should correct that statement; it takes NOTHING to start me off on some weird metal trip. I mean let’s take today’s lunch for an example at how my mind spins, shall we? How could a trip to a drug store possibly get me off and running, right?

I needed soda. Let’s start with that simple fact. I am a soda addict who cannot live without carbonated liquid to satisfy my thirst. Everyone tells me I need to drink more water, but I always explain that water is the main ingredient in soda and there must be at least eight glasses of water within the three liters of soda I consume on a daily basis. My 20 oz. bottle had long since ended its usefulness to me and my thirst was still raging. I needed that refreshment that only a dark caramel flavored diet carbonated beverage could provide and was on my way to the nearby CVS to arrange the quenching. Diet works best because the flavor does not alter as the soda reaches room temperature- it pretty much tastes warm and flat when new so makes it the perfect work-time refreshment.

Parked outside the CVS was a delivery truck, but not just any delivery truck. Outside CVS was the red and white refrigerated truck of the Coca-Cola Bottling Company dropping off its stock of cold and delicious Coke. My timing could not have been better, or is it that my timing could not have been worse for across the street, parked at Fuch’s park was the red, white, and blue refrigerated truck of the Pepsi-Co Bottling Company just sitting there; engine idling.

Tumbleweeds blew across U.S. 1 as I sat in the CVS parking lot scared to exit my car. A showdown was about to take place or at least in my head. I had never seen these two soft drink giants attempt a delivery at the same time and did not know what exactly would happen as these two titans squared off. Did Pepsi know Coke was going to be there? Did Coke purposely take a little too long with its delivery so Pepsi would see it there? Was CVS cheating on Pepsi? Was Pepsi loading a gun or just waiting for Coke to leave? This was certainly a tense moment.

To add to the drama, I was there to buy a Diet Coke, but there was a Pepsi truck staking out the CVS. If I left with the rival’s product would I then become the enemy as well? Should I just buy a Dr. Pepper and stay out of the fight or would Coke feel that Dr. Pepper is actually a Pepsi spy since technically Pepsi does the distributing for Dr. Pepper? Would Royal Crown soda be a safer choice? You can see how my imagination can really distract me sometimes.

I ended up with the Diet Coke simply because I had the protection of the Coke truck still in the parking lot as I dodged the shells and explosions to make it back to my car. I drove back to my office using only back roads to ensure I was not followed and snuck the bottle of Diet Coke from my car into my office. I think there are a few Pepsi spies in our employ right now. Damn soda wars, no one is safe.

I love my mind. If nothing else, I am always entertained.


RexZeitgiest said...

aahahahahhahahahha.....You get better by the day my friend...I can see the cola showdown unfold as if I were there.....

I know what you mean about being addicted tot he cola....I MUST have my 32 oz mixture of regular and diet cola each day...I prefer C2 coke, but will mix regular and diet if need be.....I can't drink regular coke or pepsi anymore, just too sugary, but I don't like just plain diet....

I need that special 55/45 mix of sugar/sugarfree....AND I NEED IT EVERY DAY!

Kanrei said...

Thank you so much Rex. I am happy you liked this. I should probably give you more of these things as the come across my mind because this one was par for the course.

Serena Joy said...

LOL. I can see you diving for cover as the Pepsi dude and the Coke man square off. I usually prefer Dr Pepper myself, though I've been drinking Diet Coke lately. I like diet drinks because too much sugar makes me hyper. Me too hyper is not a good thing.

Kanrei said...

Maybe I have seen too many westerns. I kept singing "Shot down in a blaze of glory" in my head. I see a strange world most days.