Thursday, December 28, 2006

Da-Na-Na-Naaaa: Dorky Power

I am not cool. There is nothing about me that could even be mistaken for cool. The closest I come to being cool is that I love the fact that I am tragically uncool. It is not that I am a square either though. Do not mistake my lack of cool for an over abundance of nerd. I am not smart enough to be a nerd for one thing. I think if I had to pick a title for my social level of hipness it would have to be dork. I like nerdy things without the IQ to reach full nerd status.

Yes, Kanrei is a dork. I love Sci-Fi and cartoons. I play video games and collect toys. The phrase “what a dork” usually follows my answer to the question of “what did you do this weekend.” Over the weekend I watched documentaries on things ranging from the history of the firearm to the various uses for concrete and how it has changed evolution. For lunch today I tried to go to Toys R Us but it was still too busy. Tonight I will continue waging the virtual warfare in 1944 France and love every second of it. Is there any other term for such a person?

The only problem with being a dork is that pressure of trying to explain to people that you are only a dork and not a loser. Many people would assume a straight 35 year old who plays video games and has no interest in dating is a loser and, if it were not a conscious choice for me they may be right, but I have designed my life to be this way. I cannot think of any other way I would be happy to be perfectly honest.

Most people hate being alone, fear having nothing to say, and feel the need to repress their selfish ways. I am the opposite. I love being alone and am happiest when I have not said a word all day. I see no problem with being selfish since I see myself as the only person who will be with me every day of my life. Why not take care of myself first as long as I cause no harm to anyone else in the process?

I am not an asshole and I should state that now. Re-reading the above I see that it can convey that attitude. I go out of my way not to hurt others. Being selfish does not mean I am mean. It just means that I take care of myself. My opinion is the one that matters most to me in my life’s course and I am here to make myself happy. In a nutshell, I do not care what other people think of me as long as I am having fun. For most people that would define cool, but one cannot be cool if one does uncool things.

I am the King of the Uncool. Long live the dorks!

6 comments:

Serena Joy said...

I like being alone, too. If that makes me a dork, so be it. I've never been able to tolerate a relationship in which I didn't have plenty of space. I've always craved my alone time, even as a kid.

I'd much rather be reading or watching a movie/TV than have someone yacking in my ear about something I have no earthly interest in.

I think that whatever you choose to do in your private time is your business. I don't think that makes you a dork, Kan. You might want to date every now and then, though; it can get lonely out there.

Kanrei said...

I keep telling my mom I am not done with dating, but I am just digging my alone time. I grew up with siblings, had room mates and live-in girlfriends all my life. It was not until I hit 30 that I finally lived alone for the first time. I have only had this peace for six years. When I am 40 I will start up again I think. 40 is the new 30 anyway I heard.

I tried to write a manual for the uncool, but this is the best I got.

Serena Joy said...

There's definitely something to be said for having the place to yourself. 40's certainly not old, but why wait? You don't have to get married, but don't you have, like, needs, asked the nosy lady?

Variant E said...

Dating? But now you have the ultimate in dorky methodologies for dating: Internet dating! It's a little like going to the buffet; lot's to choose from but not all of offerings are very appetizing so choose wisely. Oh, and 40 is good timing; over half the female population will be out there too since the divorce rate is that high and what with mid life stuff that's around the time it all happens. Good luck with that!

RexZeitgiest said...

Its such a difficult thing to gauge....'where we are in the coolness scale'....I think it varies from year to year, heck even day to day.....

When I was in the 6th grade I had an entire page in the local paper about me riding the bus, and how the kids called me 'the Fonz', and how great I was in sports and school...blah blah blah.......My 8th grade I was total nerd running for my life from the other kids who wanted to kick my ass....By my senior year, I was back on top again.....

As an adult those things matter less, but are still prevelent.....

But its important to remember one thing, its how you see YOURSELF, not how others see you that matters......

P.S. Serena, unmet 'Needs' are why god invented internet porn.....

Serena Joy said...

P.S. Serena, unmet 'Needs' are why god invented internet porn.....

Oh, geez, now he tells me.:)