Strange Things are Afoot

I rarely blog on Saturdays as many of you know. I try to take one day off and just rest and Saturday seems like as good a day as any. Could be the Jewish thing behind my choice of day, I cannot really say to be honest. I know if I can I avoid touching my car or spending money, but I do not rest on this Sabbath. Instead, I tend to do laundry and watch television and reconnect with my kitties who feel neglected during the week. Today I feel I need to break this Sabbath because of some email I have gotten. That is right, it is time for “Q&A with a Lemming: Part II”.

“Why did you ban me from your site?”

I have not banned anyone from my site. I do not know how to do that even if I wanted to. Do you really think I would have put up with the resident troll for so long if I could have just banned it?

The problem is, and this is total guesswork on my part, that Blogger.com is currently undergoing some change between the old version that most people use and the beta version that I have been part of the test for. I am also having problems with most of the sites I go to. I have no idea the current status of Haggis for example right now because Parenthetically Speaking will not open for me.

I hope they fix this soon.

“Did you really return to PWZ?”

Yes and no: that is a complicated question with an even more complicated answer. I like talking with many of the people there, but there was an element there that had a deep rooted disdain for me and almost everyone else. It seems the internet is ripe with this type of individual, but I left PWZ because of the true evil this person exhibited in the name of his concept of good. The road to hell and all I suppose.

Anyway, I received some emails telling me he was gone from that site, so I decided to try it last night and see. I have not rejoined per say because one blog is hard enough to maintain, but I do intend to go there and have re-added them to my link list.

“Who really killed Laura Palmer and what happened to him?”

You are really asking hard questions tonight. The short answer is Bob, but the finger prints will belong to her father because Bob was in possession of his body. To Laura it was certainly and clearly Bob doing the killing, but to you and me it would appear like Leland was doing it. Oh, Leland was her father.

At the end of the series Bob had left Leland and returned to the Black Lodge. It was in this lodge that Bob was able to trap Agent Cooper and leave in his body. After the show ends, Agent Cooper AKA Bob marries Heather Graham’s character, Annie I believe, and then kills her on their 30th anniversary.

“What about that stupid blog war?”

As it was is how it is: I am not a part of it. I never wanted to be a blog warrior. I did partake in it for a small period of time in July and regret things I said. I aligned myself with the wrong person and I know full trust will never be restored in me again for some people.

“Do you realize you are insane?”

Of course I do. I have told myself as much many times, but I never listen. It is a consequence of blogging I believe. I have grown accustomed to basically making speeches to an invisible audience. Sometimes they even ask questions which confirms their existence just beyond that fourth wall. I know never to look directly into the camera as to not ruin the illusion, but it is hard to ignore that red light atop it. At least the audience stopped laughing years ago, though since this is a comedy show that may be a bad thing…

I think this would be the best place to end tonight’s press conference. I actually think it should have ended a question ago, but too late for that. I will just edit the DVD when it comes out. You know, pull a George Lucas and alter the plot then deny this post’s existence.

May the Schwartz be with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu