An Open letter to Kim Jong-Il from Kanrei

Dear Kim Jong-Il,

I would love to play you in a game of Chess because you obviously go for instant gratification over longevity. You do not seem like the type who thinks three moves ahead. You do not seem like the type to expect your enemy to do anything other than cave in. You seem like the concept of defeat is beneath you. Your people may believe these things and let you rule them, but the world does not and will not.

I want you to know you have done a bad thing. The world is unstable enough without you adding to it in this way. Everyone knows you do not need nuclear weapons for defensive purposes and everyone knows you would never use them even if you did. We all know that neither Russia nor China would sit by and let you launch when they know that any response will affect them as well.

We all know you are in need of money and that you are close to collapse due to your lack of funds. This makes us believe you are doing this test as more of a “Grand Opening” sign to the terrorists that you are now ready to sell them nukes. They would pay large sums of money for these items and I believe that is your intent. You are gambling with the security of the world and not thinking.

While the entire world correctly condemns your actions, I selfishly do not. I actually want to thank you for what you have done. It has already performed more positive than I thought possible. It took Mark Foley off of the news and I thought nothing was capable of doing that.

So far since the Mark Foley scandal broke we have had Condi Rice lying. We have record deaths in Iraq so far this month. We have Afghanistan sliding back into their love affair with the Taliban. We have an election in a month with more than half the Congress up for re-election, yet all we can talk about is a frisky reprehensible Representative and his penchant for dirty talking. We have tried to get the media to cover news over gossip, but the country loves a good sex scandal and would not let this one go until you and I thank you.

By your testing of a nuclear devise the debate has shifted back to its proper place. We are once again discussing terrorism, global security, war, and how to keep peace. We are looking to working with China and Russia and the U.N. to deal with you and not threatening pre-emptive war. We are remembering we are part of the world and not leading it. I did not think we were capable of that anymore and it is all due to your megalomaniacal ambition. Well done sir.

I look forward to your being overthrown by the collective world governments as they recognize the insanity of your reign. I realize the positive after effect was not part of your plan, but I seriously doubt you had one to begin with. Like I said, I would love to play you in Chess. I would even let you take my Queen early so you think you had a chance.

Sincerely
Kanrei