Voting Rant -OR- I Can't Think of a Decent Title

It is Sunday so it must be time for “Kanrei's Rant.” That weekly douche for the mind of our favorite tinfoil cap wearing Lemming. So, without further procrastination, here's Kanrei

(Insert theme music here)
Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's calling out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Green Day's American Idiot

Today's rant is less of an actual rant and more of a plea; a plea for my country. You see, we are entering election season with the Iowa caucus happening any day now (I am too lazy to look up the date) and there are or will be commercials on television every few minutes reminding you to do your civic duty and vote. While true, it is only part of the entire “civic duty” requirement. The other part is research, homework, listening and analyzing, weighing consequences and values, and deciding something on your own for an entire nation.

Those commercials telling you to vote are wrong and I am here to beg you not to vote if any of the following are you:

I don't care who wins, they are all the same
I don't really know who is running.
I always vote “blank” (either Republican or Democrat regardless of who they run)
I don't know that much about the issues
Is there an election coming this year already
Which one will cut my taxes
I will vote for whom the L-rd tells me to vote for
I vote for the one I like as a person more
I vote for who my friends vote for

On bended knee I am begging you not to vote if any of these sound like something you would say. Elections are too important of a matter to be left to random chance and public relation firms. Honestly, if a commercial can sway your vote then please, for the love of G-d, don't vote.

OK.....while we usually disavow knowledge of Kanrei's rant, this time we must stress that these opinions are his and, quite often, his alone. They certainly do not in any way, shape, or form reflect the views of KHWL's staff, advertisers, listeners, or detractors. We must apologize for allowing him on the air without eating something first.

You are listening to KHWL and the time is forty-three minutes after the hour.