Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Dear Santa...

Serena, lemming superstar, posted this on her blog:If it's Tuesday, then it's time to Pimp Some Poetry and Vamp me some Verses. Today I'd like rhyming verses on "All I Want for Christmas Is..." I answered her request, but was unhappy with what I came up with at work... I mean at home after work. I always forget my boss reads this blog. Anyway, here is my real thing. I hope you like it.

Dear Mister Santa Claus,
I know this time of year is rough
But I have somethings to ask for
And I cannot emphasize enough
The importance of every detail
To my monumental Christmas Day request
And it's not to say I don't appreciate
Last year's olive and lavender silk vest
Its just that I know something,
Something that, if quite true
Could cause quite a bit of damage to the rep
Of a Saintly person-type person, like you
Now the details are kind of fuzzy
But this still is a laugh riot
Cause it seems that dear Saint Nick
You are a toy making pirate
The toys you make all year
In your sweatshop of a store
All have brand names you don't own
And I have plenty more
Those elves who you work,
Who slave day and night
Are really just “bad” kids
Or those who didn't sit on your lap just right
Oh the shame it would cause
If ever this got out
The children would cry
So the parents would pout
And all this distress
would add to the suicide rate
And the lawsuits would come in
Too fast to contemplate
So I think it would be best
If, between just you and me
I get what I asked for
And that's the last you'll hear from me


Scary Monster said...

Kanrei. Me be missing yer posts. The one about politics and religion was so, so YOU!

Me gots many things to do this holiday season and Me knows it be a little late but there be a Cheery Chanukah in me heart fer ya.

Have a great year in 2008.

And get some damned snow down there in flordida!


VE said...

That's a great Kan! Child labor and toy pirating; how traditional is that?!

Kanrei said...


Thank you and why did you leave?

I sorta had you in mind as I wrote that. I said "how would VE look at Santa" and perverted toy pirate who lords over an enslaved child population just sprang to mind.

VE said...

Thinking like me will only cause indigestion...

But beyond that; you had a great creative spin on it all. You are ready to scab for the Writers Guild!

Anonymous said...

Home is where the heart is Kanrei.

Anonymous said...

Kanned corn why are you so afraid of debate? You must prove your manhood by returning to the retort.

Roxan said...

No there is no man. Just those who wish to be "the man". We remain soulmates.

Serena Joy said...

Kudos! I liked your first effort, but this second one rocks. You don't mind if I lift it along with the others to the poetry blog, do you?

Anonymous said...

Let it out...it's in there..you can do it just believe in yourself

Kanrei said...

I never mind if you reprint anything from here ever. Other people may not be allowed, but you always can.

Mona said...

HAHAHA!! That is the best Santa Blackmail ever! :D