Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Done Did Get Tagged Again, Dagnabit

I got tagged which means you have now been tagged. VE did it so blame him. Worse than a virus, huh?

Everything you Never Wanted to Know About a Lemming and Decided Not to Ask:

Four jobs I have had or currently have in my life:

1. I was a greeter at the book store at college. It was a short three week job I had at the beginning and end of the semester. My job was basically to say “Hello. Can I help you? Selling books? To the left. Thank you and have a great day.” I was pretty good at it. It was just the proper level of challenging for my ston….I mean college mind.

2. Pizza Delivery Dude- I was not the “Pizza man” or “The Delivery Boy.” No sir, I was the “Pizza Dude”: long hair, badly shaven, metal blasting from my badly parked car, pizza just a tad bit late, and my eyes more red than the sauce on the pie. What? No tip? Bogus!

3. Manager of Pizza Delivery- this was a single job, but, like delivery, consisted of many, many, many different places. I would quit/ get fired one day only to have the same job at the competition the next day. I was really pretty good at it; doing the prep was my favorite part.

4. Current Job: Human Resources Manager at a sleep lab- I lucked out into this job: nepotism. My years of managing restaurants it seems has trained me to be a great HR person in an office. Dealing with drivers has prepared me for anything. I love the 9-5/M-F schedule too.

Four Countries I have been to:

1. I have been to America. I know that would seem obvious, but remember that I live in South Florida. Trust me, America is a foreign country.

2. Israel- when I was 13 my family and I went there to celebrate my Bar Mitzvah. I did not have many friends so a party would have been a waste. Instead, the family took a two week jaunt to the Holy Land. This should really be a post unto itself actually.

3. England- been here twice. Once was part of the Israel trip and the second time was in my 20’s with my ex. She was from there so it was great to see England as a native instead of a tourist. This should probably be a post as well.

4. I have not been to any other countries although, living in South Florida I have many other countries come to me.

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. In bed
2. In the womb
3. Just behind you…no, on the other side.
4. Work….wait a minute!

Four foods I like to eat:
1. Tacos- nature’s perfect food
2. My mom’s meatloaf
3. Pretzels
4. Hot Tamales candy

Four personal heroes-past or present:

1. Thomas Jefferson- Cliché I know to pick him, but he really was that wise of a man. Most of the things I love about my country are directly due to him.

2. This lady.

3. Dr. Seuss- Who cannot admire this man? Teaching actual morality using made-up words and teaching serious lessons with total absurdity- the man changed the way an entire generation sees the world. “Oh the places you’ll see…”

4. You- if it wasn’t for you I would be babbling to myself. You are my hero because you help keep me sane(ish). You are my hero because you can digest the things I write and have the fortitude to return the next day. You are my hero because I cannot think of a forth and I figured I might as well just suck up to the reader like Time magazine did with their “Person of the Year.” If “You” is good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.

Four books I have read or are currently reading:

1. Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk- The last member of a Suicide Death Cult becomes a cultural icon being used for world domination. The story is told by the icon after he hijacks a plane and is planning to allow it to crash after running out of fuel. The entire book is his story as he narrates it into the plane’s black box. The page numbers count down to the crash- it happens on page one. The book starts on page 190. It’s an interesting gimmick that actually works. You are constantly checking the page number to see how long the narrator has left to live. I have not ruined anything in this description either so read it.

2. Darkly Dreaming Dexter: A Novel by Jeff Lindsay- Dexter works for the City of Miami Police Department. His adopted father was a cop and his sister is a cop. Dexter, on the other hand, is a serial killer who hunts and kills serial killers. I will say nothing more about this other than to say “read this book now!” It's also a great show on Showtime.

3. Red Dwarf by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor- Lister finds himself trapped on board the mining ship “Red Dwarf” after being frozen in suspended animation for three million years. It was not supposed to be that long, but an accident killed the entire crew and left him adrift. His only friends are a hologram of his old roommate who he hated, a creature that evolved over the three million years from a pregnant pet cat he had, an anal-retentive and incompetent robot that sort of accidentally killed his previous crew, and a computer that has an IQ of six thousand, but has gone insane after three million years alone. Good stuff.

4. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? By George Carlin- Not his best stuff actually. This is a bathroom book if ever there was one. There is no real plot or story or even a purpose to this book. It is, in essence, just a transcript of him doing stand up. Personally I think the jokes work better when he tells them. Written down they just come across as mean.

Four to Tag :

This is the fun part- spreading the pain.
1. Scary Monster
2. Serena Joy
3. Birdie
4. Steve

Tee Hee. No "tag backs."


Serena Joy said...

Tagged. Coises. I'll get you for this, my pretty.:-)

Kanrei said...

Ownership has its costs =P

Steve Buchheit said...

Some beach, some where, there a big umbrella shading an empty chair...

Saw this on Varient E's this morning, and figured it would hit me sooner or later. Dagnabit!


Camille Alexa said...

Okay. Next post (might be a couple days).

Kanrei said...

SLACKERS! I can't believe the group of slackers I have reading here. MY people, I am home!

Scary Monster said...

Ohhhhh Kanrei, you got some splainin to do. How you gonna give me sompin you got fron VE, damn! Me told you to wear protection when you went over there.

Lokks like fun Me will get on it right away.!!

Variant E said...

Good ones Kan! Are you saying you were once 'Norm' the pizza guy that stalked Mary in "Something about Mary"? At least I'll now get to read a lot of lemmings posts on this tag thread.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

What a great post! Dude, I'd follow you off a cliff any day. And thanks for those book recs--I'll put them on my "Books Wanted" list.