Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Think I Can. I Think I Can. I Know I Can. I Know I Can. I Knew I Could! I Knew I Could!

It is now officially 28 hours since I had my last cigarette and, while my hands are still shaking, I am not the bundle of 24-hour a day stress I was last week. Yes, stress is still my roommate and not the most courteous of roommates I have had either, but I have had worse. This roommate I at least know is going to actually leave one day soon. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and we ain’t talking about the Tunnel of Love either. I cannot wait to be tunnel-free and back in the light of day.

For the first time I really know I can make it: not believe I can or think I can, but KNOW I can and that is a powerful feeling unto itself. Pass or fail in the long run, I have succeeded far more than I ever dreamt I could. I have found inner-strength I never knew I had. I cannot believe I actually have willpower when push comes to shove. Whodathunkit?

All I need now is for this blasted headache to go away. I wonder if I’m getting sick. Imagine the sheer hell of getting ill while withdrawing from cigarettes. Does anyone know how long it takes to get over nicotine anyway or am I going to feel like this for the rest of my life? Forgetful and tired with a pounding headache is almost enough to make a person smoke after all.

5 comments:

Camille Alexa said...

I love this line;

"Yes, stress is still my roommate and not the most courteous of roommates I have had either, but I have had worse."


I'd say give it a couple weeks before the nic thing feels noticeably easier, but after two months, it's a breeze. After two years, you still think they look good in movies, but you can't stand the way your hair smells when you've been in a bar or around someone else smoking.

Also, I don't know if this is comforting or horrible, but the world does not explode if you smoke a cigarette again someday in the future. Just don't ever buy another pack for yourself; buy them for fiends, if you must (and you temporarily break down and want a cigarette that bad but don't want to be a mooch), just don't ever buy another pack for you.

Serena Joy said...

You ARE doing it. This is great, Kan. You've come this far, and I have every confidence you'll go the rest of the distance. I don't know how long it takes for the nicotine craving to dissipate for good, but I'm pretty sure it WILL disappear entirely.

And as Camille said, you can always have just a stray ciggie here and there.

Your Mother said...

I knew you could I knew you could and of course you have innerstrenghth...you just never looked for it.

Scary Monster said...

The nicotine will leave yer body fairly quickly, Me friend. What you will be dealing with is the habits that were related to smoking. You will have to get used to telling your mind: Now I don't smoke while talking on the phone or while surfing the net or when playing video games etc. Your brain assciated many activities with the reward of smoking, but fear not, you will kick the habit.

Look who's talkin here. lol

Stay Stompy

sprinkle4 said...

Congratulations are in order! The first 24 hours of kicking any habit are always the hardest. It can only get easier from here! I have been told that the headache should ease off within 72 hours. Hopefully it will end sooner for you.

Keep it up!