Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Threatened By the L-rd?

I get junk emails quite often at work. I tend to give my work email address out more often than my home address. Something about "Brad@blah-blah-blah" is so much simpler than saying "kanrei@bellsouth....no, kanrei. K-a-n-r-e-i. Yes, Kanrei. It's Japanese. No, I am not Japanese. Doesn't matter. Yes, I have used it for years. It doesn't matter." Regardless, today I got sent this:

The president of Argentina received this picture and called it junk mail, 8 days later his son died. A man received this & immediately sent out copies... his surprise was winning the lottery. Alberto Martinez received this picture, gave it to his secretary to make copies but they forgot to distribute; she lost her job & he lost his family. This picture is miraculous & sacred. Send to 10 people.

First- Did I just get threatened by the L-rd? Send this picture to ten of your friends or the dog gets it?

Second- Is G-d really this vain? I mean that is not even that great of a photo really. It is blurry and kind of depressing.

Third- If it is "miraculous and sacred," why did Outlook label it [SPAM]?

I guess I fulfilled my obligation to pass it along to ten people assuming six extra people wander here by mistake. Traffic always picks up when schools kids are doing reports on Lemmings which happens more often than I would have thought.

Remember to look busy, G-d is watching.

What the Hell? I just got sent this "joke" as well.

"Clocks in Heaven"

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Billy Graham's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man, "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life."

"Where's Hillary Clinton 's clock?" asked the man.

"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Is today "convert a Jew" day or something? Is there a prize for who converts the most within a 24 hour period?


VE said...

I took my copy and ate it. I'm now cancer free!

Kanrei said...

I have to admit, while typing it, my carpol tunnel has faded. I can see as well.

Serena Joy said...

I think your spam filters were right in confiscating that. After all, God has way more important things to do than blackmail humans and threaten their pets with bodily injury. I feel sure enough of that to say "neener-neener!" and not pass it along.

I'm sorry -- call me warped, but I thought the Hillary joke was funny.:-)

sprinkle4 said...

I thought the Hillary joke was not only funny but probably pretty accurate as well:)

As for the picture:

1. I think G-d is a little too busy to be sending chain letters.

2. I got that e-mail (with a different picture) about a year ago, deleted it and I don't think that G-d is mad at me about it.

Rex Zeitgeist said...

I've converted six today and I'm not even christian!

Kanrei said...

The Hillary joke was funny as all Hell, but getting it on the same day as that other email was weird. Jesus, Billy Graham?

Hi Rex! Converted to what?

Rex Zeitgeist said...

The conversion...thing......uh...huh?