Monday, March 17, 2008

The Home for Wayward Lemming's Wild Kingdom-Type Places and Other Stuff We Haven't Thought of Yet.

Well, hello there. I didn't hear you come in, but I am glad you came just the same. My name is Kanrei and I would like to welcome you to the "Home for Wayward Lemming's Wild Kingdom-Type Places and Other Stuff We Haven't Thought of Yet." To think that you are privy to the opening episode of this educational and community-need serving requirement of KHWL's broadcasting license and we do so hope that the FCC does take note of this commercial-free educational space we have devoted to the children. We, at KHWL, always think of the children first.

Today, on "Home for Wayward Lemming's Wild Kingdom-Type Places and Other Stuff We Haven't Thought of Yet" we continue our hunt for the North American Mojo. This poor creature was almost hunted to extinction during the late 1960's when it was rumored that having "Mojo" could get one laid at a discotheque. It turns out, after years of scientific study and very costly research that it was actually the drugs getting people laid and not the Mojo.

Later, Hunter S. Thompson experimented with the Mojo briefly before finding and embracing the Gonzo, but that did not stop other writers from discovering this harmless and defenseless creature. The popular rumor that has never EVER been told to anyone by anyone is that Ken Kesey was on at least three different species of Mojo while writing "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," but that is only a rumor first told to me by me, so the source might have misled me.

My producer is telling me that this "voice-over narration" was supposed to be done in the studio rather than in the actual woods where the Mojo might be. He seems to think the "loud, obnoxious, and generally unpleasant nature" of my voice has scared off any Mojo that may have been in the area. He also is telling me that my failure to do this right has jeopardized KHWL's license now and that I, if I hope to keep my job as a journalist for this station, should not ever let the audience know about this potential trouble with the FCC.

Until next time, this is Kanrei and yo...(static)

WE ARE SORRY. OUR REPORTER IS AN IDIOT> WE WILL BE RETURNING TO AIR SHORTLY. ALL IS WELL.

2 comments:

VE said...

What I'm disturbed about is what woods in Florida Kan would be in looking for mojo...

Serena Joy said...

As soon as I find my wicked, wayward Mojo, I plan to kill it. I've never quite grasped the concept of the Gonzo. Could you explain that a little bit, and do you think that would work better for me than my sorry Mojo has?:)