Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Kanrei as a Reporter: Take Two

When we last left Kanrei...
He also is telling me that my failure to do this right has jeopardized KHWL's license now and that I, if I hope to keep my job as a journalist for this station, should not ever let the audience know about this potential trouble with the FCC.

Until next time, this is Kanrei and yo...(static)

...And now with Kanrei...

Yea...and I'm standing out here like an idiot in the bloody rain....what? No, not "bloody rain" as in raining blood you idiot! I mean "bloody rain" as in fucking rain, but I did not want to say "fucking" so I used "bloody" instead. Yes, exactly. So anyway, my bloody producer has thus far failed to "produce" an umbrella to say nothing of rain gear of some description and believe me when I say I am taking those sick days whether I get sick or not! Oh, we're on?

We must interrupt this report once again because we were trying to give this guy a second chance. I am not sure what we were thinking exactly and we, the management apologize for this vicious display of grammatical terrorism. We currently have assembled the best lawyers money can buy to ensure the most humane method for our top notch firing squad to legally take care of this inept reporter that we secretly suspect is the offspring of other inbreds. His DNA only had one helix for G-d's sake!

But I digress, we will return to the air (once again) shortly.


VE said...

OMG, you only have one helix? What do you have on the other ear? You are referring to the curved fold forming most of the rim of the external ear, aren't you?

Kanrei said...

Did I commit a word gone wrong?