Monday, July 21, 2008
A Post Too Far?
The following is in horribly bad taste and I readily admit it, but this is how my mind works and sometimes it is a dark place. I apologize in advance.
Dateline: Hollywood. After years of seeing declining ticket sales at the box office, movie executive today feel they have finally found the missing ingredient to get movie goers in theater seats: tragic death! Yes! You read that correctly; tragic death.
This weekend, the latest Batman movie, the Dark Knight, broke every record put before it. It pounced on the one day gross record, destroyed the weekend gross record, and even garnered total critical approval: a feat Hollywood has not achieved in quite some time. The reason? Star Heath Leger’s tragic and untimely death. Untimely? It was perfectly timed for the suits in Hollywood based on the ticket sales this weekend. They are even talking Oscar.
This obvious case of “cause and effect” has given those in their high Hollywood towers a brilliant idea to help with sales. Hidden within every contract signed in Hollywood starting today there will be a “Death Clause” which states that the signer agrees to terminate their life if it is viewed to be in the best commercial interest of the project. Of course, this clause will be printed in white ink on white paper. Most people would not willingly sign their lives away in the name of art, but then again… Besides, no one talks ill of the dead which guarantees the movie stellar reviews on top of massive box office sales.
Tom Cruise should really consider this given his recent track record. He used to be a star with massive appeal: Mel Gibson should as well. I really do believe people would flock to see their last movies, at least more people than have gone to see their more recent ones.
END BAD TASTE