Friday, September 21, 2007

Karl Rove Framed the Juice

Not really, but it seemed like too good of a headline to waste and I could not come up with any clever ways to work "Friday" into the title today.

OK,so we once again find ourselves at yet another Friday. Unlike other Fridays, I am not eager for this one to end. Once the sun sets tonight I cannot eat for 24 hours; Yom Kippur and all. I do so hate going hungry, but this is one of “those” holidays that I must follow. They say all I have to do is remember the dead and fast for 24 hours and my slate is clean for the next year. I screw up a lot, I mean A LOT, and so this “clean slate” thing is pretty enticing to me. The question is this: can I make it without cheating this year?

“You cheat?! On Yom Kippur?! You suck!”

Hey now! I don’t mean to cheat. I don’t want to cheat. I don’t set out to cheat. I try to eat before the sun sets, but it sets so damn early that I usually am not hungry enough to cram a 24 supply of food in my mouth. I get hungry usually around 8. The sun sets around 7. You do the math.

Also, I have never really figured out if drinking violates the fast or not? Does it depend on what I drink and why? Does drinking alcohol to get drunk instead of to satisfy thirst really violate the fast? Can I smoke? Well, I don’t smoke anymore, but did I break my fast all those years I thought I made it by chain-smoking all day long? Does it defeat the purpose of the fast to eat the most unkosher thing I can find to end it with? For me, that is usually a meat lover’s pizza simply because it has pork AND combines meat and dairy in one neat easy package. I feel that, if you are going to sin, sin big! I would add shellfish if I thought I could get it down without it coming back up.

Have a great weekend and a good Friday and enjoy your food tonight. Take an extra bite after you are full for me. Say “this is for those who cannot eat tonight; this pork is damn good.”

5 comments:

ThatGreenyFlower said...

I feel for you, Kan.

We [try to] fast for 19 days every spring. It's a sun-up to sun-down thing, kind of like Ramadan. So you get up at 5:00, eat a huge breakfast before 5:30, and then don't eat again until 6:30 or 7:00 or whenever the sun goes down. It's a lot easier than fasting for 24 hrs (which I did do once, and it "like to kilt me," as we say in the south). But it still really frickin' sucks.

My husband made it 19 days...only once, though. I have never successfully done the fast. I get crabby and suicidal without food. Embarassing but true.

Camille Alexa said...

“You cheat?! On Yom Kippur?! You suck!”

He he.

Serena Joy said...

You're stronger than I am. I get unbearably cranky when I'm hungry. If I was hungry and couldn't smoke, either, I doubt anybody could stand me for long.

Kanrei said...

I AM HUNGRY!

Nessa / Goldennib said...

I feel your pain. Everytime Lent rolls around and I decide what to give up, I have an overwhelming compulsion to have it. I once gave up something I hate to test myself and I still couldn't do it. Thank goodness the Almighty knows how weak I am and understands; D