Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Intended Kanrei Wednesday Post

They say “great minds think alike.” It seems to work for those slightly off kilter minds as well. VE posted his take on how certain movies should have ended on the exact same day I was planning on posting my take on how certain movies should have been made. The worst part of it all is that his are way, way, WAY better than mine and I had been working on mine for two days now, trying to get it just right.

Now I can either post my intended post (and sort of copy him and fail in comparison) or come up with something new. Well, I am lazy and not that creative so here is my post idea for the day with today's fresh original posting beneath.

PS- VE wrote a Britney Spears Clash song that is great. Go to his site. It is on the right hand side.

I get bored in movies sometimes and start thinking up my own plot.

28 Days Later- Sandra Bullock plays a newspaper columnist forced to enter a rehab facility only to find the world overtaken by zombies upon her release.

28 Weeks Later- Sandra Bullock is back on the sauce and pregnant with a zombie biker's child.

The Resident Evil Trilogy:

Resident Evil- The true story of the Minutemen and their defense of the US border

Resident Evil: Armageddon- The Minutemen get a hold of nukes and decide to teach those "wetbacks" a lesson.

Resident Evil: Extinction- After making the US free from non-Resident aliens, the real horror begins as those jobs Americans won't do go undone and society breaks down.

Blair Witch Project- Something about Tony Blair's wife I think. Have you ever seen her? Me either.

Nightmare on Elm Street- Bush's economy comes to a neighborhood near you as home after home is foreclosed.

An American Werewolf in London- Madonna? OK, that one scares me too.

An American Werewolf in Paris- Madonna finds herself in a Hilton home por...I mean movie. The novelization will be sold in tinfoil wrapping for $50 and subtitled "Sex II: Electric Boogaloo"

Saw IV- people get trapped in a movie theater showing Saw I,II, and III and they must saw off their own feet to get out before the movie ends and their good taste is ruined forever. I have not seen this one yet, but do I really need to?

To end today, I will post a parody I wrote about Gay marriage.

To the tune of "Bandstand Boogie" by Barry Manilow
For the tune:

Sing Along

We got a problem
It just won't go away
Cause Massachusetts
Is giving rights to gays
We need an amendment
We're gonna have to change
The Constitution

Cause Massachusetts
They screwed the whole thing up
And now George Bush
You know he's had enough
He wants an amendment
He wants to make it tough
The Constitution

Can you believe people think there's freedom in the Constitution


Serena Joy said...

LOL! I liked VE's revised plots and I like yours, too. If you all ever collaborate on something, look out -- we'll all die laughing.:)

Kanrei said...

Is the world really ready for what we could come up with? Hasn't everyone suffered enough already?

I don't think they have either. =D

Serena Joy said...

Suffering is good. Builds character. Bring it on. Suffering through over-laughing never hurt anybody.:-)

Nessa / Goldennib said...

The Blair Witch Project is funny. Well they all are. You are too modest.

Let's make a constitutional amendment to keep Bushes out of the White House.

Scary Monster said...

Damn, Kan. Iffin ya think VE's stuff be funnier than this me not gonna be able to go to work today. This is a laugh-riot!

Good Stompin.

Kanrei said...

I don't mean to make it seem like there is some competition between VE and myself. I hope that is not what came across. The guy is funny as all hell and I dream of being as consistently great as he is. We are basically two blog comedians who admire each other's work. He is Steven Wright where I try to be Lewis Black I suppose.

Camille Alexa said...

Cool idea, but I've never seen most of these movies. Horror's got to be pretty funny to get my attention. And I mean Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz funny.

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