Friday, September 21, 2007

The First (and Last) Kanrei Sermon of Everlasting Peace, Harmony, and Brussel Sprouts

Today, my friends, we are going to talk about “perspective” and all the evils contained within.

For some may blame religion for many of the world's ills, but I say “nay brother, nay!”

Some may blame politics for many of the world's ills today, but I say “nay brother, nay!”

No sir, nothing has created more evil; has committed more murder; has spread more sorrow I tell you than that evil, wicked, nasty, naughty demon named “perspective.”

I ask you, all of you right now, what can turn a terrorist into a freedom fighter? That's right my friends, perspective! What can take the best movie and make it a pile of steaming, dripping crap? That's right my friends, perspective! What makes a good leader stand apart from a bad leader? Hell, what makes the difference between the two? That's right my friends, perspective. Perspective justifies every war that ever was. Every murder is an act of self preservation in some manner from the right perspective.

I know you are scared now and you should be. Any lucid person would be, but I offer salvation in addition to problem revealing my friends. I offer a solution. The solution is simple and obvious- just accept my perspective as the right one. It clears everything up and makes life so much simpler. If you find yourself in disagreement with me, then quite simply you are wrong. Simple or what? I am a June Gemini after all.

Trust me, from my perspective, this is the best solution to all the world's problems. Just leave the key under the mat. Everything will be OK from now on.

12 comments:

Nessa / Goldennib said...

Where are the brussel sprouts? I like brussel sprouts.

You are absolutely correct. As an October Libra, I see things from many perspectives, which is why it takes me 13 years, 7 months, 9 days, 2 hours, 53 minutes and 14 seconds to come to a decision.

You'd make a great dictator.

Roxan said...

As an Aquarian, I find this to be old news. :P

Brussel sprouts=ewwwwww

A banana came to my door this afternoon. It wanted my son, so I gave my son to the banana. True story.

Scary Monster said...

There ya go again, Kan. Wrapping up a serious truth in the comics section of an old newspaper.

Stomp.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Well, the way I see it, you're wrong.

Tee hee!

Kanrei said...

Nessa,
The secret is to always keep them wanting more so the brussel sprouts will be coming along soon.

Roxan,
You are a horse?

SM,
I figured you would see the deeper meaning if anyone did =D

Kanrei said...

Greeny! Same time posting! I covered the way you might see it. I said you are wrong if you don't see things my way =D

Roxan said...

LOL Well you get one of my rare moments of spelling error. Cherish it, but also be warned I will call you out on all of your spelling errors from now on. Pay backs are a, well you know. :P

Kanrei said...

Roxan,
What did you spell wrong?

Roxan said...

No, the question to be answered is why did you call me a horse? I thought maybe it had something to do with Aquarian which didn't make a whole lot of sense because equine is not spelled that way.
Now why did you call me a horse? I need to know so I can get the wtf look off of my face. LOL

VE said...

To err is human. So if your perspective is always right...you're not human. (I suspected this early on though) ;)

Kanrei said...

It is a joke I heard long ago. I think it is the Aquarian/equine play. I am sorry if I offended. I should avoid jokes I don't fully get I suppose.

VE,
I am human. I err, they are just the right mistakes.

Roxan said...

Okay, you're forgiven. It didn't really offend me, just confused me. I have never heard the joke and that's why it didn't make sense. Besides, I can't stay ticked off at my soul mate.