Friday, November 17, 2006
Funny thing about living in Miami; it only takes one drive to go from a great mood to a bad one. I am serious. It was not heavy traffic or anything really, but somehow and for some reason I left my parent’s house in a very good mood after a great dinner and conversation only to walk in my front door uptight and annoyed. Weird, huh?
I know there is no full moon right now (I think I know) so that cannot be the cause of this strange mood I suddenly find myself in. Work was actually very good and fun today so that cannot be it. I think it is my writing that is getting to me to be perfectly honest and not Miami or the traffic.
I am going to have to go back to school or something and take a few basic classes to refresh myself. I do tend to obsess a bit so it is very likely that this realization made during the drive home could alter my entire mood. I just know I am in a funk.
The reason I believe it is my writing is that I am very dissatisfied with the quality I am putting out lately. I find myself examining every sentence and double guessing my grammar. I question my paragraphs wondering if they are run-ons or am I breaking them up where I should not be? Did I use the right verb tense with that last reference? Did I really misspell that word or is spell-check crazy?
If that is bad, just wait until we get to the actual context of my writing. I find myself reading something I enjoyed writing just to find myself doubting its worth. I ask if my opinion is valid enough to write on. I wonder if anyone really cares about what I think. I even start to think I must be wrong. I fight the urge to put a disclaimer at the end apologizing to the reader for wasting their time. Sometimes I even lose the fight as the OJ story showed.
Are these thoughts normal for writers? I have always dabbled in writing, but this is the first time I have really committed to it and done it with the intent of entertaining others instead of just myself. This is the first time I really cared what the reader thought. That was my first mistake, wasn’t it?
Just fought the urge to apologize for this post… this is getting bad.