Tuesday, November 07, 2006

It's Tuesday (The Vacation "It's Friday")

Time for yet another edition of “It’s Friday.” I know what you are about to say and you are correct, it is only Tuesday, but I am officially on a vacation until next Tuesday so today is an honorary Friday (in a good way).

Today was easier than most Fridays are, but it also lasted soooooooooooo damn long. I only had to schedule for one day as opposed to three as well, but then there was the stress…

I am not a person who takes vacations normally. I may take a day off here and there, but extended vacations are usually something I never bother with. There is something about leaving work for a week that makes it harder to come back. I tend to need a week off after my week off just to prepare to return, but this time is different. This time I need to leave my office for a week just to shake out all the stress.

The stress I am under is largely of my own creation to be honest, but it still remains a fact that stress and I are not the best of bedfellows. I am one of those “one thing at a time” people. Once I get a second task I tend to start to fray. Normally I have more than one boss so things get spread out nicely and evenly. I will get the chance to finish one thing before starting the next one. The last two weeks did not work out that way and I snapped.

See, my main boss was on vacation for two weeks and my other boss was in meetings and such so I was left on my own to deal with quite a bit. You have followed this blog so you know the stress pattern I have been under. See the last two “It’s Fridays” and the MIA IT story for more details. It built and built upon me and I snapped.

From the stories I am hearing I did a bit more than snap, but most of them are exaggerated for dramatic effect. I would say 75% are based on truth and 100% of them end up as works of fiction. The other 25% are flat out lies.

The big one is this: yes I kicked a door on my way out of the office. It was a left over trait from the restaurant business and I do regret that, but it was only done once, not “repeatedly.” I realize though that office people are probably not used to such behavior. I never yelled or screamed in front of anyone, but rather went outside for a cigarette when I needed to do those things. I did not threaten to fire anyone, but rather spoke about how great it would feel to do it and I never mentioned names. I do not have the authority to fire anyone at work.

I tend to talk about things I would love to do to help unload some stress. It reminds me that I am never trapped and always have options. I mean I quit my job about twenty times a year on average. Sometimes, to paraphrase the classic show “News Radio”, I come in on my weekends to quit a few times without anyone getting in the way. I also have employers who understand my shortcomings and are always there to talk to me about it when this starts happening.

I reach a critical stress level once every two years. I never see it coming and usually cannot see it while it is happening, but I recognize it when described to me. When my boss says “Brad we have to talk” I know exactly what is coming. I am blessed with great audio memory so I can always recap honestly the situation that caused the freak-out, but I never justify it. I should never show it and I do. I should probably have been fired a while ago, but as I said I have very understanding employers and co-workers.

So now I am on my week off to shuffle my deck and put the bad cards on the bottom. I plan on cleaning out my head, my heart, and my home this week. It will not be a restful week so much as just a necessary week. I will not abandon my Lemming House this week though so do not fear that. I cannot afford any squatters moving in. Thank G-d the week is over.

1 comment:

Serena Joy said...

Oooo, I thought for a moment there that you'd figured out how to turn Tues. into Fri.

Stress can make you do some strange things, things you wouldn't ordinarily do. It sounds to me like you really needed an extended vacation as opposed to a day here and there. Hopefully, it will rejuvenate you. Don't spend it all cleaning stuff, though. Do something fun, something you normally don't get a chance to do on a weekday. Don't just clean your head; feed it. Give it some fun. Enjoy!