Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Better Be Good for Goodness' Sake
I just freaked the fuck out of my bank. No, really; I just walked in and confused the entire lot of them. I started with the receptionist who didn’t know how to handle me, so she referred me to a manager who didn’t know what to do exactly and she went and got the head teller who had to shake my hand because he didn’t know what else to do. He said this was something they had not really encountered before and were just simply shocked. He could only shake my hand and thank me profusely and repeatedly. So what did I do?
Yesterday I had to cash a check for $200. The teller gave me all twenties and counted them before me. I counted them again and placed them in my wallet and went about my errands; just another Monday until I used my money and discovered there was too much there. I should have only had 10 twenties which I spent, but when I handed the 10 twenties to the cashier, she handed me one back because there were eleven in the stack, not ten. Two of the twenties had fallen in love and were in the middle of copulation it seems when the teller grabbed my cash and these lovers refused to be parted. They stayed in the embrace of love even when I counted the money and it wasn’t until an honest salesperson spotted the lovers that I became aware of them…but now what?
“SCORE!’ was my natural first thought. “Free Money!” “I won!”
Then came the voice and it came very quickly: “don’t they count the money in drawers at the end of a shift at the bank?”
“I’m sure they do.”
“And won’t they find out the drawer was twenty short?”
“And they might have a zero tolerance policy. The teller could lose her job over it. How long will that twenty last you versus how long a steady paycheck will last her?”
Bastard was right; the money wasn’t going to change my life at all, but the missing money could alter her life horribly, so I called the bank and told the manager on duty what happened and she informed me the teller’s drawer was indeed short and, when I guessed the amount, she sighed relief. I told her I would be in today to return the money, but I guess she didn’t tell anyone else about it. She probably dismissed it as something I would intend to do, but not follow through on over a simply twenty.
So today I walked into the bank and confused the bloody lot of them. They thanked me and told me people never do this, but I said there was nothing else I could do. I didn’t want someone to lose their job over a simple mistake and I was simply doing the thing we all tell ourselves we would do. Doing right only counts in my humble opinion, when nobody is watching you. There was no reward, no parade, no holiday in my honor, but maybe I restored a little faith in humanity.