Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Bag Update

I just realized I have not spoken about my colostomy bag in quite some time.  It is actually a very good sign that I am not thinking about it all that often anymore.   On Saturday, I think I went a good ten hours without thinking about it and, more importantly, realization that I do have a bag did not upset me at all.   That tells me this is becoming my new normal.   It is not a positive yet and maybe never will be, but it is not a negative any longer; it is simply part of who I am.

Life after cancer is a lot like riding a bike after not doing it for thirty plus years: you basically know how to do it, but it is very awkward, uncomfortable, and frightening until you regain your confidence.   You also have to remember you are not the same person that you were the last time you rode that bike.   You are older now, different, more aware of the dangers, and a lot more fragile than you once were.   I suppose that it is more like riding that bike after an accident thirty years ago actually.  It feels familiar, but foreign.    You remember the tricks and stupid things you once did now fully aware of the consequences of a failed attempt.   It takes some getting used to.

I have been back on my bike for a little over two years now.   I had a major accident about eight months ago I am still recovering from, but I am back to riding and gaining confidence.

1 comment:

joanie78 said...