Friday, January 04, 2008

It's a "Hucka-Bama" Friday and We Are So Possibly Screwed

You are listening to KHWL on the Blogger dial. The time is fifty-five minutes after the hour and it is damn cold outside today, but warmer than yesterday. Quick question for my Northern friends out there: how do you sit on the toilet when it is 40-something degrees? Porcelain appears to be a great conductor of cold and, being a Floridiot, I never realized just how freaking cold a toilet seat can be. My sympathies go out to all the female lemmings out there during this season.

And now time for “Its Friday.”

Why is Iowa screwing with me? I know I am fairly good at political analysis, but I was only joking when I said:

G-d help us if we must choose between Obama and Huckabee for the Presidency; it will be the battle of the stupid names. Honestly, does President Obama sound any less like a SNL skit character’s name than President Huckabee?

I honestly did not expect Iowa to do the stupid thing and actually support the “Stupid Name Duo” for office. It only goes to prove that long standing cliché about states with more vowels than consonants.

Huckabee is going to probably be the Republican candidate for President because of these results. With the exception of 1988 when Dole beat Bush and 1980 when Bush beat Reagan, the Republicans seem to go with the Iowa caucus winner.

The Democrats and their actual commitment to Obama is another story however. In the years 1972, 1976, 1988, and 1992 the winner of the Democrat’s caucus did not move on to win the party's nomination. In 1980 and 1996 the only reason the person did move on was because they were already in the White House and only in 1996 did the sitting President run unopposed. Also, only the 1996 candidate won re-election. Gee, I am so happy my state was kicked out of the nomination process by the DNC so they could protect a legacy like that.

Obama’s results this year have him beating Edwards 38%-30%. In 2004, Kerry beat Edwards by a similar number (38%-32%) and we all saw exactly how much support Kerry really had.

So, what is my point? This was all pointless and means nothing at all to anyone and that is coming from a self-admitted political junkie. Obama and Huck Finn… I mean Hucklebee, I mean Huckabee can raise a few more dollars than everyone else and we will be no longer hearing much from Dennis Kucinich who got a whopping 0% and “Mr. 9/11” should fade off into Memorex as he only received 4%, but other than that what was the point really?

Sorry for the political rant on a Friday. I realize that Sundays are the designated ranting days, but I missed last Sunday and there was a (kind of, sort of, in a way) major political event yesterday. I still owe you a “Its Friday”, don’t I?

You are listening to KHWL and the time is seventeen minutes after the hour. The temperature outside is: freaking cold.

Have a great weekend.

PS- All Iowa Caucus Statistics are from Wikipedia so they could be very incorrect in the long run of reality.

PPS- My mother has volunteered to fill the void left by CourtTV. She is a steady reader of USWeekly, OK, and a few others and said she would be more than happy to keep me up to date. Thanks mom.


Serena Joy said...

It's freaking cold here, too, and as if that (and icy toilet seats) weren't enough, I am now scared spitless of Iowa. If it actually comes down to a race between Obama and Huckabee, Huckabee's going to win by simple virtue of the fact that America isn't ready to elect a black president. I like Obama, but I don't see him winning the Oval. Huckabee seems like a perfectly nice guy, but he's not, IMO, presidential material. Scary, indeed.

P.S. - Thank your mother for me for filling the CourtTV void.:)

Nessa said...

Based on what I'm reading, no one I know has anything in common with I-ow-waaaa.

Camille Alexa said...

I can't believe you just insulted Samuel Clemens that way.

your mother said...

Your mother happens to like Obama....

Kanrei said...

I think Mr. Twain would approve birdie.