Monday, January 14, 2008

Flesh Colored Band Aids Suck!

No, this is not a rant against the fine people at the Band-Aid company and no, I am not complaining about the fact that the so called “flesh” color excludes most minorities from the benefit of an invisible medicated adhesive. I am not that shallow nor am I so obsessed with politics that I must see conspiracy everywhere….OK, I am that shallow and that obsessed, but that still is not the reason for my statement that “flesh colored Band-Aids suck!” I made that statement because no one at work has noticed I have a huge Band-Aid on my right hand today thus negating any chance I may have at sympathy.

Mom, skip this paragraph….seriously. Stop reading now Mom and just move on to the next one because here is the answer to “why do you have a huge Band-Aid on your right hand today Kanrei?” I burned the ever loving shit out of my hand on Friday and I did it the exact same way I have done it every other time- the top of my toaster oven is just a little lower than I guesstimated it to be. I got myself really good this time too. I know this should be a new paragraph, but my mom is looking for the divide and I am about to type more words she doesn’t want to read. See, the burn was actually really cool as it happened. My hand jumped back from the still red hot eye before I even knew I had placed my hand in the toaster oven. As I pulled my hand back I could actually see the flesh burning away and a small flame on my skin. It looked like that map of the Ponderosa from the beginning to Bonanza if you ever watched that show. I even had the theme in my head for a split second before I fully realized it was my flesh burning and not a map.

OK Mom, it is safe to read now. Do not peak above.

So here I am at work today with this huge Band-Aid on my hand and not one person has asked what happened. No one wonders about my injury because my flesh ironically is the same color as the flesh colored Band-Aid and no one at work has noticed. This sucks! I demand colored Band-Aids! Maybe even florescent or LED Band-Aids or an Ipod Band-Aid would rock, no pun intended. Some flashing, screaming, alerting medicated adhesive strip that would attract tons of sympathy because what good is injuring yourself if no one notices?

7 comments:

Nessa said...

You should wear a cast and a sling next time, tomorrow, in fact. I am so sorry for your pain and suffering.

VE said...

Burning flesh is fun...and it stays hurting for a long time, doesn't it? I once lost my balance slightly and grabbed the grate on the campfire (which was actually orange it was so hot). I know your pain!

I suggest you come in tomorrow with a wheel chair, IV drip, bandages, casts, the whole works! You can also get closer parking that way...

Kanrei said...

Nessa, that is all I wanted. I feel sooooo much better now.

VE, I work for a doctor so they would not even notice that. Now, if I were to burp or fart they all suddenly take note.

Serena Joy said...

See, this is why I've taken to wearing Disney Princess Band-Aids. When I'm hurt, I want everyone to notice. I could send you some of mine, or you could take VE's suggestion. I think the IV drip and wheelchair would work particularly well.:)

Gledwood said...

hey didn't they bring out Band Aids with pictures of big birds/teddybears/ etc etc? or is that just my imagination frothing over as per usual

??

;->...

Kanrei said...

The princess or teddy bear Band-Aids would cause too much attention I think.

Serena Joy said...

Yeah, but the attention will get your wound noticed. A little sympathy never hurts.:)