Monday, August 03, 2015

Starts With An Obligatory Disclaimer

I would like to say the following post is something my mind came up with 100% on its own with no input from me.   It forced me to dictate it into my phone and has since nagged my fingers to cave in and help spread its vision.   I apologize and wish to note that the following in no way, shape, or form represents the management of The Kanrei Home for Wayward Lemmings, its affiliates, or its authors.   Thank you.   Now, here's my brain's announcement:

The planet of Brad recently held a meeting at the United Nations of my Body AKA my mmind, and has determined that the nation of Colon is responsible for the global catastrophe currently being called "Cancer."

Extreme measures were propose and debated.

Two years ago negotiations began between the nations of Colon, Rectum, and Sphincter, but after multiple intense sessions, no agreement could be reached.  

In response, the UN allowed a minor, but  through  radioactive   and chemical weapon assault and, while the Cancer did retreat, it did not surrender and further actions were required.

After consulting with experts, the United Nations heard a proposal to completely eliminate the nation of Colon, thus removing the source of the problem, but some nations disagreed; particularly the nations of Heart, who felt sorry for the problems Colon has faced, Intestine who feared intrusion from retreating Terrorist Cancer Cells, and the Urinary Nations who just don't like the idea of meddling in their domain.

This Body feels that the nation of Colon cannot be allowed to continue to exist as it stands today with these threats it imposes upon the rest of the Body.

Therefore, it is the recommendation of this Committee to invade the nation of Colon and confiscate its Eastern Territory, and remove it from the Body as a whole.  

As a condition of its remaining in the body, the Western Colon Territory will submit to regular inspections and if found in violation of this agreement, understands extreme and severe measures will be taken against not only the nation of Colon, but any nation that aids Colon in their terrorist activities.

 So signed,
 All the Nations of the Body

 *Thank G-d Dubya ain' t in my body or else they would probably invade my lungs to get to my colon.

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