Thursday, August 06, 2015

File Under "T.M.I"

This post may be more than you want to know, but fuck it and yes I cursed; not out of anger, but joy!   Today marked a historic event in my life that few people knew about: today I bought my last bag of Depends!   Yes, I have been wearing Depend for over a year now; it happens when you have no rectum.  So why am I posting this?   Because I am fucking happy to close this part of my life and, as I have said numerous times here- I have no shame!

The shame of buying Depends fades fairly quickly; faster than buying tampons ever did which is ironic since there was never any chance the tampons were for me when I had to buy them.   Buying condoms the first time was harder than buying Depends the first time, but that was mainly because I refused to buy condoms from a woman back then.   I was afraid she would say "you don't really think you're going to use these, do you?"    Buying Depends is more of "you aren't really going to use these, are you?" and since I am not looking for sex or a partner right now, that old shame carries no weight.   I buy them with pride actually.

"Yes, these adult diapers are mine and mine alone!  No, I am not buying them for a relative or someone in my care.   Perhaps you have noticed an aroma around you since I came to stand here?   Yes, I have no rectum and these are for me because I periodically don't shit my pants, but I usually do."
I can say this now without worry of people mocking me because in exactly one week and two hours it will all be in the past.   Thanks to "Chemo-Brain," I can't even say for sure if it will be a memory; blessings everywhere!

To Depends,

I am sorry I am no longer a customer (not really, but for the purposes of expressing sympathy I will say I am).   I have been a very loyal customer for these last 18 months or so and will recommend your product to anyone who needs it, but there are few things I will be happier to be rid of than your wonderful product.     Best of luck in the future and I hope you can replace me with someone less bothered about wearing them...preferably senile so they won't even know they are wearing them.

Love,

Brad.


And to get back to an old theme of my posts: I have passed the Book of Brad and I still love G-d.


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