Monday, October 13, 2008

Yeah, and Bugger the Other One Too!

Can someone please explain “Columbus Day” to me? We don’t celebrate any other major failures, so why does this guy get his own day? Think about the sheer amount of failures this guy is credited with and you too will be wondering why the Hell he gets a day.


1. Set off to find a new trade route from Europe to India: he didn’t. He never made it even close to India. He instead landed in the Caribbean.

2. Thought he landed in India even though he was not even close and this is why, to this day, Indians are called Indians and the Caribbean is also referred to as the “West Indies.”

3. Never set foot in North America, yet still to this day we credit him with “discovering” the place. Leif Ericson, a Viking, actually did land in America long before Chris ever thought of boats, but he gets nothing. Why? Chris had a better press agent. Perhaps it is the alliteration: Chris Columbus just rolls off the tongue while Leif Ericson is impossible to even spell right without looking up.

4. Still to this day has never found that trade route to India

Did Columbus start our country’s desire to reward the undeserving based on intent rather than accomplishment? Is he to blame for why we accept Bush as President and why we are even considering either candidate we are currently choosing between?

I guess Columbus really is a real American hero and deserving of his own holiday. He did not discover the physical land of America, but perhaps he did discover the “close but no cigar” attitude that makes us and drives us to mediocrity.

Praised Be Jawsus Christ


Serena said...

Kan advocating buggery? Oh, dear! There's a full moon coming, isn't there?:-)

Kanrei said...

I don't advocate it, just realize it is going to happen with or without my approval. Columbus Day is one big buggering of us all if you think about it; history's greatest failure.

VE said...

Columbus is a shining beacon of hope for all management aspiring to claim fame from other peoples actual effort!

Your mother says said...

So very true ve

Anonymous said...

Kanrei you must go back to the retort. Obama depends on you.