Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Time for Today's Pointless Ramble

Oh, how I wish I could update my blog today. I have so much to tell you. I have tons and tons of stories just waiting to be shared with you, if only I could update my blog, but I can’t. I am not allowed. You see, there is a writer’s strike going on right now, or is that “write now” and, as someone who thinks of themselves as a writer, I cannot update until the fight is resolved.

No, I am not a member of the Writer’s Guild of America or whatever the group is called or anything like that. No, I have never sold a screenplay for either television or film, nor have I actually ever even completed one, but I might one day and I don’t want to piss the union off. They might forbid me membership because I wrote something (entertaining?) while they were on strike.

I could be seen right now (or is that write now) as actually being a scab at this very moment. These words could be turned into a plot by some eager and hungry young executive longing for a new project and then POOF!, just like that, I am a union-buster. It’s not like they have never made anything dumber. I have seen The English Patient and Nothing But Trouble so I know they have. Be ready for it because coming this summer, Lemming House: the Movie!

Shortly before its release however, a barrage of nasty and slanderous articles will slowly start to find their way into Variety and other trade-rags about yours truly. They will be talking about backroom deals that were made between Kanrei and various cigar smoking members of a Jewish Media Conspiracy. There will be reports of how Kanrei single-handedly persuaded the producers to hold out on the writers until he was able to secure a deal for himself. He was also working with the writers, stoking their collective rage in hopes of pushing them to strike just to open the very hole he is now exploiting. Don’t believe the hype. I like TV. I like movies.

I am not involved in Lemming House: the Movie! in any way, shape, or form. Well, I am directing it, but that is it. Just directing and producing it. Oh, and writing, editing, and starring in it, but that is all. I will also be playing my own romantic interest as well as my rival for said romantic interest’s interest, but nothing more, I promise after: I write my review of Lemming House: the Movie!

I guess what I am trying to say is this: keep striking until I finish my script. I support your cause 100%, but my selfish nature is keeping me busy writing at home right now…or is it “write now?”

One final thought- shouldn't the striking writers be marching with blank signs. I think writing a message on their protest signs defeats the purpose of being on a writer's strike.

Humor aside (or just an empty attempt at humor), I do support the writers 100% in their cause and will happily watch DVDs until they get their demands met. These are not mostly rich people striking for more money; these are mostly the middle class looking to own a bit more of what they create.

3 comments:

Scary Monster said...

This is a good one, Kanrei. You sound like Spike Lee when he talked about the music business in Mo' Better Blues.

One final thought- shouldn't the striking writers be marching with blank signs. I think writing a message on their protest signs defeats the purpose of being on a writer's strike.

That be the funniest thing me has read in a long while.

Keep Stompin!

Serena Joy said...

One final thought- shouldn't the striking writers be marching with blank signs. I think writing a message on their protest signs defeats the purpose of being on a writer's strike.

Right on!

I guess I'll continue to write a little something because, hell's bells, I never got paid for crap anyway.

VE said...

Fortunately I got my certification of unimportance from them years ago. That way, I'm ok to publish new material without the threat of violating the strike because they know I'll never amount to anything. Besides, I hire a monkey to write all my material and there is a strict "no animal" membership policy.