Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Post #496 -OR- Lemming Strike Field Report

This is Kanrei with a KHWL “Lemming Strike” update. The current time is twenty minutes after the hour and we are about to begin day two of the strike

Tension could not be higher at the moment. The two sides are bitterly split apart with what appears, right now at least, to be an insurmountable difference of opinion. I honestly think this strike could very well extend way past breakfast and, possibly even into lunch. Dinner is currently paying very close attention to this situation as it seems to be growing by the moment.

Hi Kanrei, first time listener, long time caller....(laughs)I mean first time caller, long time listener. Sorry about that. I'm nervous right now.

Hi and thanks for calling. I was unaware we were actually taking calls right now. I was kinda under the impression this was a news report, but as long as you are on the air, you might as well go ahead and ask away.

Thanks. Am I on the air?

Would you like to start again?

No thanks, just let me know when we are on the air please.

We are, have been, and FCC allowing, will be on the air for some time to come. Your thoughts, or lack there of, are currently bouncing about with the confines of about three people's heads at this very moment. Care to impart upon them the depths of your wisdom?

Three whole people?

Cute. Do you have any actual questions or has an ex-girlfriend put you up to this?

No, no...I have a question. Sorry about that. Do the lemmings have any actual demands or is this just a strike out of sheer boredom?

Damn good question.

Thank you. I really hope you have a damn good answer or else the readers are going to be rather pissed at this.

(Gulps)They have one demand; well, one demand with two parts. They want “shorter cliffs and they want mattresses or trampolines at the base of said cliffs.”

That is it? It seems so petty.

Well, to be honest, these demands came after the strike began. Seems they were picketing a little too close to the cliffs and, well, once one fell over the edge...let's just say there are far fewer lemmings in line tonight than there were this morning. Thus, the mattress demand.

So then why were they striking in the first place exactly?

They're lemmings. They heard about the Writer's strike and the French transport unions' strike, and the Broadway stagehand strike, and the CBS news writer's strike: they had no choice but to strike. To quote someone on the line, "It just seemed like the thing to do."

Besides, I needed something to blog about.

Well, thank you for that report and your honesty Kanrei. This is KHWL on the Blogger dial and the time is thirty-seven minutes after the hour. Stay tuned for a very special Wednesday Thanksgiving edition of "It's Friday" coming later today on most of these screens.

Hey! This is my blog and my show and I sign off.

Hello? Heellllllllloooooooo.....

10 comments:

Steve Buchheit said...

Wait, we weren't supposed to go over the cliff? Well that changes things. Huhn.

Hey Bob. Bob? Bob! Wait, Bob. Cliff... No! BOB!

Serena Joy said...

LMAO! The Lemming Show is the best thing on the air right now. I love the cartoon. Did you draw it? Let the strike continue on into infinity. This is much better!:)

Kanrei said...

Thank you. I am so happy you all are enjoying it.

I did not draw that, but rather found it here. I did not mean to imply I did and I hope the owner of it does not get pissed. IF you click on the picture, it is linked to the site it came from so I hope that helps with crediting the artist and such.

Camille Alexa said...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

joanie78 said...

Lots of fun, like it
Have a happy T

Scary Monster said...

Ya know, iffin ya just get the lemming leader to cease and desist then the others will follow. Lemmings be so much like sheep.

StaaaaaaaaaaaaaOOMP!

Charles said...

Hey Kan,
Happy Thanksgiving.

Nessa said...

I'm striking too because I'm a follower also.

Merry Belated Turkey Holiday. Come see my gobbler.

Roxan said...

Lemming and cliffs-a bad combination.

VE said...

You mean we're on strike? Do I get a fancy sign that I can swing and twirl just like the guys advertising liquidations? Fun!