Diary of a Guinea Pig Part II

Today is day two of “The Great Pill to Quit Smoking Experiment 2007” and I am still alive. No flipper babies or strange voices in my head or anything; well, not new strange voices. Herbie is still there with Mauve and Phyllis. I am not sure where Eugene wandered off to, but I am sure he will return eventually. He always does.

Today I took half my usual Prozac does to go with the “Great Pill to Quit Smoking” and my spaciness did slightly diminish, but not entirely. I think that means it is the new pill doing it to me and I just need to ride it out. If it continues on Sunday I am going to quit the pill, but not my quest to quit smoking.

On the quitting front I think the pill is working. Cigarettes taste different today. They leave a nasty “school milk” aftertaste in my mouth. I really can't stand to finish them, but soon want one because my nicotine craving was not yet satisfied. This means more cigs lit while less smoked. I suppose each day I will light less until I don't light any at all. Might be worth riding the side effects out.

More later. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

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It Begins

I did it finally! I started the “quit smoking” pill this morning after two weeks of not filling the script and two days of putting off starting. I feel….intoxicated. Not fully drunk or stoned, but just mellow. I cannot concentrate fully right now on things so I am very happy for the light day of work today. I have yawned thirteen times in the last hour for example.

I am still smoking today and should be for the next seven days. Next Thursday is the magic day for me and July 4th the last nicotine day of my life. I feel more confident in my decision to quit smoking today, but I am also fearful of the side effects to come. More later, I am feeling a bit spacey right now. I wonder if I should quit the Prozac while I am on these new pills.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

UPDATE I just got off the phone with the company that makes the pill. It seems no testing was done to see the possible effects of Prozac on people taking it so I am the offical testing bunny. They are going to call my doctor in a few weeks to check and see how I am doing. The side effects I have felt thus far are new to them however so it can be anything. Tomorrow I skip my Prozac to see if the effects continue. If they do then it is probably the pill; if they don't then it is the interaction of the two and something will have to be planned. More later.

This is The End/ Carcinogenic Friend, The End

It begins tomorrow. It was supposed to begin this morning, but I chickened out at the last minute. I have the pills. I filled my prescription yesterday at lunch. Life changing events tend to be rather scary sometimes and easy to put off.

They claim it will only take seven days to quit smoking once I start taking them, although I will have to remain on the pill for up to twelve weeks to guarantee no more smoking. I think that is what is scaring me the most to be perfectly frank- quitting in seven days. In one week a friend of sixteen years will be out of my life forever. Yes, a friend that has been slowly killing me, but a friend just the same.

This friend has been there to give me breaks when the work day gets to stressful or boring. This friend has been there every morning with me and said goodnight to me every evening. This friend has comforted me when I was down and helped me celebrate when I was up. I am going to miss this friend more than I realized when I agreed to end our relationship.

Funny how the right thing to do never feels right, isn’t it? I mean we all know veggies are better for us than chocolate, but which would we honestly rather eat? We know stories about certain celebrities will only cause us to become just a tad bit dumber, but we still read them. I knew smoking was bad for me long before I took my first drag, but I still did and I am a fairly smart guy. The stupid path is just so much easier to take most of the time.

Well, procrastination must end at some point in time and I suppose there is no time like the present; or rather the soon to be present. I am still at work and do not have the pills with me here, but I suppose I should start right after dinner tonight. The pills say to only take them on a full stomach. Wish me luck.

The Over-Due Return of the Real Media

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Why Does Reality Have to Hurt?

Let’s talk vacation for a moment, shall we? I just took one, a real one, and I feel great! I am sorry if I worried you at all over these last nine days, but I felt the need to see how long I could go without turning on my computer. Since I am an admitted computer addict I figured my vacation should be from that world. The answer to how long can I last without going online- nine days!

Do you remember a world before computers? Do you remember what you did with your time before the world was available to you on a tiny screen? I didn’t. I forgot what seeing a friend was like at night. I forgot what going out was like. I forgot what entertaining myself was like. I loved it! Yes, I missed you all, but I was on a mission. Everyday I had to fight the temptation to just check my email or see what was happening in the world.

I had nightmares of a computer-free world before this week, but no more. Now I think I am going to remain offline for three days a week just to try and regain my sense of self. Those three days will most certainly not be in a row, I am an addict after all, but I think I really need to try. If nothing else my eyes feel better after not staring at a screen all day.

Glad to be back and I did think of you everyday. Most of it was “tee hee, I bet they have to work today”, but that counts as a thought.