I'll admit it: for all my bravado, I was very nervous going to see my surgeon today. Made no logical sense for me to have been nervous as there was nothing he was going to surprise me with today; it was all planning, but I was nervous. Luckily, I walked away from the meeting with one key phrase repeating in my head: It was not a new cancer he found, but an old one that survived somehow. That is Fucking GREAT!
I could see there is some concern in my doctor that, if this cancer survived the chemo, what else did. He even said the one way he would not do the operation is if there is cancer somewhere else in my body and we are doing a PET-Scan to see. He seriously doubts he will find any, but wants to be safe first. He said there is no point in removing my colon if cancer is also somewhere else.
On the bright side: he doubts Chemo is in my future and the post-operation will be a breeze. He said again that the quality of my life will improve greatly and I already basically have a colostomy bag, only I wear it on my butt and have less control over what goes where and when. Seems I have even less rectum than I thought I did. He said today it was about 3 cm left out of an average of 15.
Now the details.
They are going to remove the left half of my colon and put a colostomy bag at the opening. I will still have half my colon, so the contents of the bag should be closer to poo than diarrhea. They will remove not only what is left of my rectum, but will also be removing my anus and sealing it shut. I will be a human Ken Doll from the rear: all crack, no hole. Unlike a Ken doll, my front will be fine. =D
I am splitting on vacation next week (I hope to keep blogging), so I am not going to think, write, or dwell on my upcoming operation for now. I will relax, have fun, and enjoy taking the last month of shits I will ever take.
Amen!
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