Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Considerate Inconvenience

What should I do with G-d's attention since I obviously have the Big Guy's undivided today? As I have often said, our reality is G-d's entertainment and boy am I entertaining him today. I should almost have a full one share by the end of today actually. Given that there is only one viewer, a one share is pretty damn good. Any real TV people out there should forgive my misuse of the share concept.

My two-story abode is a two and a half bath, of which I use one and a half. My master bedroom has one naturally and I have one downstairs for my TV viewing needs. That third bathroom, the upstairs guest bathroom I suppose, has been reduced to a kitty liter holding area. It used to be the room I kept one litter box in, but my cats really seem to either like using the floor or dig watching me sweep and clean. Either way, I go in there enough to clean it, but never really glance around. I already know both the toilet and shower are, while working, not great and therefore never get dirty. Sure, once in a while I go and clean the dust, but that is really all that gets there.

Anywho, today I decided to change the showerhead in my master bathroom because I saw one at Target that looked just awesome, so I bought it. It being lunch and the box expressed an ease of changing, I decided to head home and do it quickly. Hahaha on me because it was at that moment G-d tuned in. Someone put superglue in the grooves of the nozzle I had to remove to put my new kick-ass showerhead up.

I turned and turned and strained and twisted.
I hammered and pounded and heated and pleaded.
I cursed and bartered and schemed and invented
I was laughed at, turned down, scoffed, and defeated.

As I turned to leave my shower, I clearly heard: NO NEW SHOWERHEAD FOR YOU! COME BACK ONE YEAR. I remember thinking "funny, I never knew my shower was a Seinfeld fan." Funny how you can live with something for 9 years and never know that much about them. Oh, story...

I decided very quickly that it was time to use my other bathroom and my nine-year neglected shower of the kitty's bathroom. At the very least, it would blow their little minds, but G-d was not quite through with his entertainment for the day. Right above my tub was a hole, rather nice sized, and in it was another hole that probably lead to yet another that ended with my roof I would bet. I am lucky it was over my tub, but how long has it been there?

I should be really pissed off that I have another hole in my roof, on the other side this time so it isn't even the same leak as before, but I can't be. It was over my tub. Sure, it has probably been there for a few months and I never knew about it, but it limited the damage it did by appearing over something watertight and with a drain. How can I possibly be upset at such a considerate inconvenience?

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