Friday, August 16, 2013

Did I Ever Tell You About Treatment: Week One?

And week two comes to an end; week one of treatment, but the second week of this saga.   Maybe I should just think of the first week as the prelude for narrative purposes...yeah, I will.   Take Two:

After a short prelude, week one finally comes to a close.   The biggest thing learned this week: it is going to be a long rough ride, but it can be done.   There are going to be moments, some lasting hours, that will drain me of every ounce of strength I have, but they will end and the strength will return.  In that knowledge is the very strength necessary to make it.   I have made it through every rough night thus far and will keep doing it.   No doubts.

The other big thing I learned this week is that my back pain is due not only to the tumor pressing up against the spine, but also the fact I have a collection of knots nobody at the age of 42 should have.   One of the doctors looked at my PT scan and said "I have never seen anything like that in my life."     It is unrelated to the cancer, but just something I found personally interesting.  Explains why I tend to remain so calm for the most part: stress just goes right to my back and sets up shop.

Back to the Cancer already in progress:

Since this is part a blog to tell you about my experiences and part a journal for me of them, you may want to skip this paragraph and the next as I will be discussing my symptoms after the first week.  

Constipation and cramps are the rulers of this realm I call my body. Not urinating much either, but considering I am having virtually no Diet Coke for the last few weeks (I know, right?) and my bladder has been ruled by that carbonated crack, I just think it isn't sure what to do right now.

Speaking of cramps, my G-d ladies, how do you endure them month after month.   i mean I thought I had cramps before and just thought you were exaggerating for sympathy.  I know better now and I am so sorry.

Of course, it is also a side effect of the morphine I am on for the pain.  At least it isn't hallucinations.  That patch gave me one every time I closed my eyes to rest.  The usual was this:

I am in my room and my door opens.  My mom or dad comes in and asks me if I need anything.  I face the door to answer them only to find my eyes have been closed the entire time.  When I open them, I am facing a different direction and they are no where in the area.   

The weirdest was when I walked into my bedroom, sat down in a chair in my doctor's office, was greeted by a nurse who opened the door for me.  When I said "thank you" to her, my eyes suddenly opened and I was in my bathroom in my room and "thank you" was said out loud by me.   I think that means I was mobile while hallucinating.  Not good at all.

Safe to read again, coward =P

The morphine/ibuprofen combo is doing the trick finally.  Still in pain, but it is no longer unrelenting and ruthless in nature.   More like a bratty little brother most of the time with slight psychotic outbursts.

Now some good news:

The medical staff I am being taken care of is beyond words amazing.  The level of care and concern they give to their cancer patients is exactly the type of care you expect from every doctor.   They actually give a shit about me as a person.  I am truly amazed at just how amazing the care has been.   

I am also amazed at how the word Cancer has this power that seems to create bridges that were once destroyed.   As word spreads, and it shocks me it would spread, I am hearing from people long thought lost to time.  Some wanted, some missed, some neither, but still it is amazing.   My parents are hearing from long lost friends as well and while I am not happy about the cancer, I am happy for the good that is coming from it.

Positive outlook still rocking solid.  Thank you parents.  Thank you friends.  Thank you family.  Your support is so vital to me and I am honored to receive it.   I love you all too.   


joanie78 said...

Tha k you for sharing how it is

Gordon said...

Hang in there and stay strong! My previous message, which was better written went byebye but... Know we love ya and are here for ya. You will make it through this and give the big FU to cancer in the end! Keep the words flowing and who knows you should have a book by the end of this!