Saturday, October 09, 2010

The Trials of Brad: Thursday

And upon the rising of the sun, so did G-d, in all his glory, gaze down upon yon sleeping Brad, safe within the confines of his bed, and did He say unto Himself "today beith the day for him."

And so Brad awoke as usual 15 minutes before his alarm and stretched within the confines of his bed, and did he say unto himself "this is good," but G-d did laughth.

And so Brad stubbed his toe on the corner of his bed whilst on his sleepy-eyed journey to the bathroom and so G-d did giggle.

And as Brad walkith to retrieve his garbage bin did he see the garbage bags removed, but a ton of clumps of cat litter sitting comfortably within the confines of the bin and so G-d did sayith "gotcha!"

And so upon returning from the bid, did Brad's alarm system begin beeping and flashing the holy number "14" repeatedly and did G-d sayth "you ain't seen nothing yet."

And so Brad driveith to work and all is well and he did say unto himself "that G-d that's over" and G-d did respond "ya think?"

And as Brad sat at his desk at work, so did the phones and internet die suddenly and without cause and G-d sayith "whatcha gonna do now?"

And so Brad driveith himself over to the lab which uses a different phone system only for his driver side car window to die suddenly and without cause and G-d sayith "I got more; oh I got more."

And upon Brad's desk at the lab sat not one, but devices used for sleep studies which did die suddenly and without cause and G-d did say "told ya I had more."

And Brad's cell phone did ring and the alarm company did callith to tell him that his alarm was beeping and flashing the holy number "14" and that it required his attention. A new battery, double A in size is all that is needed. And Brad did think a ray of sunshine had come into his day and G-d did bring the clouds.

And on his return to the office from the lab did Brad learn two patients had canceled for that night and that a Tech would now have to be told he wasn't going to work. And Brad did sigh and G-d did say "I know how much you love that."

And even though Brad had pickith up a Double A battery on his way home, two in fact, so did he come to realize upon getting home that double A was the wrong battery and he would have a flashing holy number "14" for one more day.

And G-d began to take pity on poor Brad who still had yet to curse or scream or even kill anyone.

And so that day ended for Brad at 6:00PM as he went back and safe within the confines of his bed to cheat bad luck and he did awake the next day to sunshine and good fortune, thank G-d. And G-d did say "you are very welcome."

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