I am shocked; bewildered; mystified; befuddled; bedazzled; and, above all else, discombobulated beyond repair. I cannot believe that: A) it is Friday already; and B) it is the end of January! Where the hell did my month go exactly? This feels so...wrong, but it must be right because my computer never lies to me, except when I visit those sites that lie, like Newsmax or Foxnews: my computer does lie to me those times, but never about the date. I have an electric bill due today come to think of it...
Once again I planned on blogging this week and once again Friday comes 'round too soon, but I covered that already in the above paragraph and it is too soon in this post to start repeating myself. Actually, since I have not blogged since last Friday, I should have tons of original thoughts to put here and therefore there is even less of an excuse for me to be repeating myself so soon in the post....
Of course, it is Friday today, and that is much sooner that I anticipated, but, it being Friday, it means I owe a post, probably one overusing commas, and probably slaughtering any sense of proper grammar and spelling...OK ,just improper grammar since these damn annoying red underscores are going to force my spell check hand and that will get rid of the bad spelling.
Have you noticed how much I seem to love posts that break down the fourth wall of blogging and actually end up blogging on the process of writing a blog? The sheer amount of senseless train-of-thought ramblings I have placed here is certainly almost a waste of bandwidth. To think that Google is sponsoring all this nonsense.
Have a great weekend kiddies.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Food for Friday
This week's "It's Friday" will instead be some food for you to think about over the weekend. They are things I have posted before on other sites, but never here and I know they are all 100% new to you.
What if we already died and this is our lives flashing before our eyes in real time? Wouldn't that explain Deja Vu?
Dear members of all Faiths,
You have been fighting among each other for centuries, each claiming that G-d is on your side. It is pretty clear that G-d is either A)a myth or B) not on your side because, if He were and He was a powerful as you claim, you would have won by now.
Why is it that every culture may have different symbols for their letters, some even reading from right to left or up to down, but we all seem to agree that numbers go 1,2,3,4,5,etc,etc?
If we can agree on time zones then why not borders?
Have a great weekend.
What if we already died and this is our lives flashing before our eyes in real time? Wouldn't that explain Deja Vu?
Dear members of all Faiths,
You have been fighting among each other for centuries, each claiming that G-d is on your side. It is pretty clear that G-d is either A)a myth or B) not on your side because, if He were and He was a powerful as you claim, you would have won by now.
Why is it that every culture may have different symbols for their letters, some even reading from right to left or up to down, but we all seem to agree that numbers go 1,2,3,4,5,etc,etc?
If we can agree on time zones then why not borders?
Have a great weekend.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Post 667
My cat is an idiot, a retard at best. I know it is wrong for a parent to speak of their child in such terms, but truth is truth and Satchel, my oldest, is a complete at total moron. She is lucky she is so cute or she might starve: get thrown out at the very least. See, I have accepted that she hates litter boxes. It is not the litter she hates, but rather the box itself. I know this because she constantly kicks litter out of the box to use on the floor. I have accepted that as one of her quirks. I have accepted that she will grab one of my socks from time to time and place it in her water dish to force me to change her water after she drinks it once. A pain in the ass, but it is her way and I accept it, but last night she crossed a line and I really now think she is retarded rather than cute and quirky: she set her tail on fire…and didn’t realize it.
I use candles in my house for a few reasons: I like the scent and it helps keep the lighting bill down. You can already see where this is going I bet. I had a candle burning on my coffee table and Satchel leapt up on the table for some affection, wagging her tail over the open flame. It took no time at all for me to smell the wonderful odor of enflamed hair and notice a rather large light coming from my cat’s ass. She, on the other hand, was still purring and seeking affection, unaware of the giant ember that her tail once was.
Needless to say I put out the flame and there was no damage to my really furry kitty, but I am now officially scared for her. What other stupid things does she do that I am not there to catch and save her from? She is still alive, so she has been lucky so far, but luck only lasts so long.
I use candles in my house for a few reasons: I like the scent and it helps keep the lighting bill down. You can already see where this is going I bet. I had a candle burning on my coffee table and Satchel leapt up on the table for some affection, wagging her tail over the open flame. It took no time at all for me to smell the wonderful odor of enflamed hair and notice a rather large light coming from my cat’s ass. She, on the other hand, was still purring and seeking affection, unaware of the giant ember that her tail once was.
Needless to say I put out the flame and there was no damage to my really furry kitty, but I am now officially scared for her. What other stupid things does she do that I am not there to catch and save her from? She is still alive, so she has been lucky so far, but luck only lasts so long.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
It's Fri...(Pointless News Interruption)
Today's "It's Friday" has been interrupted by breaking news: A US Air jet flying from New York to Charlotte crashed yesterday in the Hudson river. Nobody was hurt and the cause seems to have been two birds flew into the jets. The Bush administration, as it's final act, has decided to invade Pakistan in a pre-emptive strike due to some scattered intelligence saying that the birds may have been trained to perform this exact type of attack by Al Queda and possibly even the Mossad. More on this story as nothing more breaks, but will be repeated over and over again rather than the reporting of actual news.
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us:
A US Air jet flying from New York to Charlotte crashed yesterday in the Hudson river. Nobody was hurt and the cause seems to have been two birds flew into the jets. The Bush administration, as it's final act, has decided to invade Pakistan in a pre-emptive strike due to some scattered intelligence saying that the birds may have been trained to perform this exact type of attack by Al Queda and possibly even the Mossad. More on this story as nothing more breaks, but will be repeated over and over again rather than the reporting of actual news.
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us:
A US Air jet flying from New York to Charlotte crashed yesterday in the Hudson river. Nobody was hurt and the cause seems to have been two birds flew into the jets. The Bush administration, as it's final act, has decided to invade Pakistan in a pre-emptive strike due to some scattered intelligence saying that the birds may have been trained to perform this exact type of attack by Al Queda and possibly even the Mossad. More on this story as nothing more breaks, but will be repeated over and over again rather than the reporting of actual news.
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us...
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us:
A US Air jet flying from New York to Charlotte crashed yesterday in the Hudson river. Nobody was hurt and the cause seems to have been two birds flew into the jets. The Bush administration, as it's final act, has decided to invade Pakistan in a pre-emptive strike due to some scattered intelligence saying that the birds may have been trained to perform this exact type of attack by Al Queda and possibly even the Mossad. More on this story as nothing more breaks, but will be repeated over and over again rather than the reporting of actual news.
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us:
A US Air jet flying from New York to Charlotte crashed yesterday in the Hudson river. Nobody was hurt and the cause seems to have been two birds flew into the jets. The Bush administration, as it's final act, has decided to invade Pakistan in a pre-emptive strike due to some scattered intelligence saying that the birds may have been trained to perform this exact type of attack by Al Queda and possibly even the Mossad. More on this story as nothing more breaks, but will be repeated over and over again rather than the reporting of actual news.
Have a great weekend. For those just joining us...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A Post or a Prayer?
We are almost in the clear and I cannot believe we made it. In just four short days the Bush Era comes to a close and, despite all his best efforts, we are still alive! I am really not sure all the excitement being felt all across the nation is an honest “Obama-mania” and is not actually more a gigantic sigh of relief from a nation finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. It has been over eight years of dark and nasty partisan politics and perhaps we are finally ready to emerge from the petty divisions and become one nation once and for all. I certainly hope so.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Happy Sabbath
Even though today is Friday, a day traditionally set aside for non-deep thought, I find myself with my faith very heavily on my mind right now and is keeping me from cutting loose as a Friday does so rightly deserve. You see, right now Israel is invading Gaza. The reasons for this invasion differ depending upon who you ask and what side they were on before the invasion began, but an invasion is happening right now and once again, as a Jew, I am being subjected to an endless onslaught of anti-Semitic images and words as a result.
It seems that every time Israel acts, the world Jewish community takes the hit. In this particular case I happen to agree with Israel's actions, but not in every case, but either way I often find myself in a position of being forced to defend Israel because the people attacking them are using words like “Jews” instead of “Israelis.” It is an important distinction to keep straight; I am not an Israeli, but I am a Jew.
I have spent 37 years of my life in America and only 10 days in Israel. I cannot speak Hebrew or Arabic, but I can speak English. I am American and Jewish. Hold me accountable for things America does and hate me for what my country does, but please stop confusing Israelis with Jews. I have no more control over what Israel does than any Catholic has over what the Vatican does or any Protestant over what England does, so to hold me and mine accountable is a just as bad sin as that which is being committed by both sides in the middle east today- the suffering of the innocent.
I write this to beg the media and the bloggers and everyone else discussing these events to please remember that, while Israelis may be overwhelmingly Jewish, not all Jews are Israeli and it is wrong to condemn an entire faith for the actions of one nation.
Happy weekend and sorry to be so heavy.
It seems that every time Israel acts, the world Jewish community takes the hit. In this particular case I happen to agree with Israel's actions, but not in every case, but either way I often find myself in a position of being forced to defend Israel because the people attacking them are using words like “Jews” instead of “Israelis.” It is an important distinction to keep straight; I am not an Israeli, but I am a Jew.
I have spent 37 years of my life in America and only 10 days in Israel. I cannot speak Hebrew or Arabic, but I can speak English. I am American and Jewish. Hold me accountable for things America does and hate me for what my country does, but please stop confusing Israelis with Jews. I have no more control over what Israel does than any Catholic has over what the Vatican does or any Protestant over what England does, so to hold me and mine accountable is a just as bad sin as that which is being committed by both sides in the middle east today- the suffering of the innocent.
I write this to beg the media and the bloggers and everyone else discussing these events to please remember that, while Israelis may be overwhelmingly Jewish, not all Jews are Israeli and it is wrong to condemn an entire faith for the actions of one nation.
Happy weekend and sorry to be so heavy.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Alive and Ill
My office is full of kind people who like to treat you like a member of the family and families do tend to share, so share they did and sick I am. No, it is not that really ugly massively nasty stomach bug going around, nor is it that pseudo-flu that seems to be rather popular: no, I got the sinus infection which I assume means I actually did get that pseudo-flu, but just not that badly. I feel icky and crappy, but not icky enough nor crappy enough to remain in bed, so I am icky and crappy at work today and way over medicated which is slightly fun actually come to think of it and making me feel slightly less icky and crappy as the drugs slowly kick in. I suppose it is time to start working.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)