Saturday, April 02, 2016

Setting a Record Straight For Myself

This is a post for me because my memory sucks and I don't want this to fade into a place where I rely on others to remember the ifs, ands, and whys.   It is of no importance to really anyone who doesn't blog where I used to and something  I am not sharing with that blog.   It is for me.

There was a story on that blog prior to Good Friday about a poor kidnapped priest and the report said ISIS was planning to crucify him on Good Friday.   Now I read a lot of news, A LOT OF NEWS, and I tend to research most stories for other sources before I believe or disbelieve anything, so I Googled this priest and didn't find his name mentioned on any real news sites...well, mainstream news sites; there are no real news sites, but that is for a different rant.   The sources for this story were all based on an eyewitness report that ISIS did it and somehow it was known what they would do, despite the only quote from an actual source saying "we don't know who did this or why or what is planned" which basically nullified the entire story, but that is not my rant and for the record, a week after Good Friday came and went, the Church says the priest is still alive and they are working on his release.

I read all of this and made a stupid mistake: I posted my thoughts on the subject.  I said it was assumption that was obviously pre-Easter propaganda to inspire fear before the holiday season and further encourage the idea that all of Islam is at war with Christianity.   I further said that eye witness testimony of a traumatized victim is rarely accurate and posted a link to a Scientific American study to back that up.   I said since there was no evidence of any aspect of the story of the priest, we should discount it.   My mind told me it was another "Jessica Lynch was anally raped" or "Pat Tillman  was killed by the Taliban in an heroic fight" type of story which it was.   I thought that would be the end of it or people would debate the Islam vs Christianity war aspect, but what came shocked me.

My friends, or people who I thought were my friends came at me with daggers out, context dismissed, goal posts moved, and spin at their command.   Somehow to them I had defended terrorism, found out they thought I usually took the side of the terrorists, denied every aspect of said story as a lie, and probably slapped their mothers and broke their favorite toys.   It was shocking.   Now I had began to grow tired of said site long before this happened and this is part of the reasoning.  What occurred around Good Friday falls into "straw that broke the camel's back" rather than "Earth-shattering life ending event".

See, this site used to be somewhat tolerable of other points of view in that those on your side rarely came after you when they disagreed with you; it was an unwritten rule of allies on a site of constant verbal warfare.   And when they did, it was done with respect and directed to the issues and not the person; ad hominem, strawmen, goal post relocation, etc  were the toys we used on the other side, not on our side, but this election changed all that.   Suddenly the place became insider warfare as all  alliances became null and void and it broke down to two camps with only one dividing issue: Sanders or Clinton.

It was ugly and I carry my share of the burden for what it became.  I earned my online enemies and they earned me and I think there is a modicum of respect between us regardless as we enjoy the duel more than a victory.   It is not these fights that drove me, but it is those fights that tired me.

Then the "neutral" moderator who we all knew took sides, but tried to hide it no longer hid it.  He came out for a camp and those in his camp were given freedom while others were under scrutiny.   It was subtle at first, but just like how a hair grows, it changed without notice until it was really changed.  He does his best to try and be as neutral as possible while still playing in the game, but one really can't be an honest and impartial referee when they also openly play for a team.   It is his playground and I don't begrudge him of this, but the realization further tired me.

I came into that Good Friday themed thread tired and battle weary while also dealing with the outside pressures of reality that really has nerve butting into my online life; I work hard to keep Kanrei separate from who I am.  Anyway, when I found myself under attack from those I thought were friends, I realized I was a ship without a port and it was time to get the fuck out of the storm.    I could count on those against me to be against me, but I saw I could not count on those not against me to be with me or at least leave it alone.   It was a realization that there was no truth there, no fairness, and no trust.

I learned a lot in my...14 years blogging there.  FOURTEEN YEARS!  WOW!  Anyway,  I have made some friends there whom are on Facebook and other means for me to still talk to, but the value of that site to me has run its course.   It is now a lot like being ready for high school, but wanting to still go to kindergarten: there is nothing to offer me there than fingerprinting and recess.

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