Monday, September 02, 2013

Did I Ever Tell You About My I'm In Labor Day Weekend

Now that was a 3 day weekend!   

Did I sleep?  Hell yes I slept.  And slept.  And slept.    

Did I eat?  Hell yes I ate.   Not was much as my doctors want (more on that later), but I ate more than I have in weeks.   

Did I poo?   To quote my niece, I went poopies!   And not the rabbit turds I have grown used to producing, but actual nice solid logs of discarded organic matter and, more importantly, no blood.    Yes, my ass is raw today from wiping and wiping and wiping and it is quite painful, but I'll take it because it means I went poopies!   

Speaking of poopies, I have lost a shit-ton of weight since my birthday.   I was 236 mid-June and am now 190.   Pretty damned good, huh?   Never looked this good before in my life.  The doctors are concerned with the massive drop, but they didn't know me fat.   It is a large number to lose in a short time, but I had the weight to lose and am now actively working on gaining weight ala the Dr Nick diet from early in the Simpsons' run.  

I must consume 2500 per day.  I am advised to drink an ensure with every meal.  Avoid fruit and vegetables.  Avoid anything that produces poo while maximizing calories.   Oh the crap I can eat and how cruel to have no appetite to enjoy it.  Good one G-d.    Still love ya.  

I have been cranky this weekend.   Not sure why.  Sorry to Saint Joan and Rob, the Logical.    As much as I have needed Saint Joan's Virgo overload, I also rely on Rob, the Logical who has the uncanny ability to get past even the thickest walls of Gemini logical bullshit games I can play.   And while I have always known he loved me as his own son,it is often hard to read the stoic and I have seen the true depths of his love for me.   Do t care if you're tired of hearing it, but I could not do this without the combination of our strengths and concerns.  

Tomorrow is the return to radiation and chemo.  Yay?   A return to side effects.  Yay?   Haven't missed those, but September 25th keeps coming closer.   Then six weeks of nothing before stage 2, being the dreaded operation.    Thinking of painting my nose red to see if they get the joke.    

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

well this is a first for me. I don't recall ever writing these particular words in this order but here goes.

"I"m glad to hear you can take a good dump!"