Arguing Against the Existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Since I have decided to start blogging more often to get my "writing chops" back into shape, I have picked today, 4/20, to argue against the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What is the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Well, according to their website (yes, the follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster have a website):

I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

Bet you thought I was making it up. They call the practice "Pastafarianism." My sense of humor is abstract and sharp, but not THAT abstract and sharp. I am in awe of this. Anyway, here are my three top reasons it cannot exist:

1. There is no evidence that it flies. It does move through the air, but is this the result of self-propulsion or the after effects of a leap we don't know.


2. Are we sure it is made up of Spaghetti and not say Linguini or even Lasagna noodles? Can we even say for certain that the FSM is of Italian descent as is implied by the use of Italian cuisine to name it?


3. Is "Monster" accurate? Could not the flying spaghetti aspect simply be the result of an unwatched child at Olive Garden and not the sign of a sentient being?


3B. Also, the word "Monster" has such a negative connotation that it is hard to imagine such a being being benevolent and therefore worthy of worship.


Stupid as all Hell I know. Happy 420