Here is the best start I had yet. Pretty much good on its own.
There is an old fable about the scorpion and the frog. It goes like this:
Once upon a time, a scorpion found itself along the bank of a river with a desire to get across it. Looking about, he saw a frog sitting on the shore.
"Hello Mr Frog," said the scorpion, "could you give me a ride across this river on your back?"
"No," said the frog emphatically. "You are a scorpion and I am a frog; you'll stick me and kill me halfway across."
"Why would I do that?" asked the scorpion; "If I do that, we'll both die."
The frog relented and allowed the scorpion upon its back who then proceeded to stick him halfway across the river.
"Why would you do that," asked the dying frog. "Now we're both gonna die."America, that debate was the river, we are the frog, and the candidates are the scorpion: what else did you expect?
"What else did you expect" asked the scorpion as they both sank to the bottom of the river.
For shame, America. WE can do better. I hope this nation is strong enough to withstand the next four years.