Monday, January 16, 2012

Heaven Announces Candidate for 2012 Election

*News Release*
Date: 1/16/12
Time: 11:18am EST

G-d Declares His Candidacy and Plans to QB Super bowl.

Tired of hearing about how he supports this candidate or this team, G-d has decided to end "all this stupid mortal nonsense" and seek the office of the President once and for all for himself. He said at a recent press conference: If you want me to solve your problems, I will solve them my way.

His platform includes, but is not limited to:

1. Earth flooding
2. First born killing
3. Insect plagues
4. Extending of the Bush Tax Cuts for two more years
5. Rib removal

Opponents have sighted G-d's omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence as unfair advantages and are seeking Campaign Supernatural Reform prior to his declaration.

Given his ability to exist in both the past and future, it is generally believed that by declaring his candidacy, G-d has in fact already won the Nov 2012 election that has yet to happen for the rest of us.

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